Japan's Letters to the World
by ThePattyWagon
Summary: When Japan has nothing else to do, he likes to read letters from other countries and respond to them. Though, he can get harsh... Rated T for future cursing and sexual tension.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Well, I saw other people doing it... and I do love Japan. So here it is! If there is already another one with Japan, please tell me right away so I can take it down!**

**For those new to this sort of thing, it's simple: You read the intro, send Japan a letter as another country or what ever you what, and he replies! Send it over PM or reviews, I don't mind. But please be careful, if someone else has already taken a country, you'll have to write as another person.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

ご挨拶,

I was doing some search on the web when I came across my fellow countries sending receiving and replying to letters from other countries/provinces. Feliciano-kun told me (more like begged me) to start my own and reply to other readers...

-sigh-

Really, I don't have much time for this. There is a rush right now on Hentai demand... N-Not that I like that stuff or anything! It's a present for Francis-san, I promise! ... not to mention there is a sale on salted salmon in the market! I must get to that market as soon as possible... I refuse to have Ludwig-san take my precious fish again... –grumble grumble-

Now then, if you don't mind, I have to go feed Pochi before Heracles-san comes over. D-Don't get any ideas! Doing intimate things is highly inappropriate and we would do no such thing! We are simply going to admire cats together! Also, he needs to kill the horrid cockroach that scurried under my bed... That roach... It's so scary... I might just cry.

I suppose I don't really care if you reply to me or not. Keep in mind I'm not Matthew-san, and do exist.

Ignore me and the future of your precious Yaoi hangs on a thread.

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku  
-Japan  
-**日****本**

**

* * *

**

**ご挨拶: Greetings (I hope XD)**


	2. From: Republic of Nauru

From ghost-dark

* * *

Dear Japan,

Hello! Do ya remember me Japan? Of coarse you do!

It's me, Nauru! Your troops occupied my island once.

Remember now~? XD

Be more positive! You can make relations with other nations(like me)way better!

Or make stuff worse. Whatever! XD

Tell Germany I said 'Hi!' and Prussia-nii I found Gilbird.

On my head! He just popped out of nowhere! :D

Sincerely,

Republic of Nauru

* * *

Dear Nauru-san,

Ah, yes... Sashiburi.

I do remember that. I also have the fortune (cough) to remember how Alfred-kohai bombed my airstrip on your tiny island nation... I worked very hard on those planes! DX Such a shame I had to hand you over to Australia-shi. It seems you are doing fine on your own, though.

Do you think you could give me some coconuts? I think I could make a good dish with lots of salt and fish... (Ludwig will kill me if he finds out I'm taking in so much sodium again! My salted salmon... It must not be taken awaayyyyy... D:)

I suppose I could make some relations better. I hope Ivan writes to me. I'm going to destroy him... I did not say that, you didn't read that. Maybe Im Yong Soo will write to me as well. I would enjoy having a... calm conversation with him. He really needs to learn his place and not steal all my ideas.

I really do hope you are right that this will help relations.

Really... really hope...

Ludwig-sama didn't seem too happy to hear about you. Something about reminding him of his loss... Then he went on to grumble about how he could shove a wurst down Alfred-kohai's throat for taking you. It was hard to hear him through Feliciano-kun's screeching over spilled pasta.

My migraines and back pains always get worse around these two... But they are still good friends... Well most of the time.

Ah yes! Gilbert-kun is actually here now, enjoying the tea he seems to love so. I made him sweets... but he eats so much. He also drank all the sake. I'm running out of food! I need to save money... money is a very serious thing! Never waste it, Naura-san!

I hope for the best for you, Naura-san.

Stay out of trouble, ne?

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan

* * *

Sashiburi: Long time no see

* * *

**Hur hur! First letter D Hope this can become something big like the others. Still trying to fit into Japan's shoes, so I hope I'm doing good so far :'D My fav letters to the world is France's... just saying, check it out! -shameless advertisement-**


	3. From: Latvia

From Akahata

* * *

Hello Kiku,

Yao came over to Mr. R-Russia's house and mentioned this, so I thought I'd s-send in a letter. S-so, how are you doing? Is everything alright in your home? A-and if you can, PLEASE come and s-save me!

-Raivis Galante, Latvia

* * *

Dear Raivis-san,

Sashiburi, Raivis-san.

Ah, Yao... Him. –unhappy face-

Are you alright? Is that demon harassing you again? I'll curse him yet... just wait. I just hope another earthquake doesn't hit me. That man is going to fall under my fist...

I'm doing fine, really. I've been hearing very odd and disturbing noises coming from Ludwig-sama's room lately. I can't seem to find Feliciano-kun when this happens either... This is too inappropriate! / It is a good thing the two of them aren't as bad as Francis-san or Heracles-kun. The way they have sex out in the broad daylight with just about anyone is completely unacceptable! Really, these men (including a few other unnamed...) need to learn to keep their flies up and zipped. All this man action does give me ideas for a new Yaoi manga...

YOU DID NOT HEAR THAT. –coughstraightenscollarcough-

Latvia, please be patient. I will save you from the demon. I've been putting a lot of thought into it, and I think I have created the super robot strong enough to even take him down. One with his country... I would streak naked across Francis' territory before I did that. Actually... I'm not sure which is worse.

I will come soon and I shall bring my katana with a fury unlike any other!

I hope his glare doesn't break it this time...

I think I almost cried last time my little sword-chan broke.

I even became irritated! It was a rare event, seeing me angry. Quite the rush!

Hoping to Come Over,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan

* * *

**I'm having fun with this. Again, hope I'm doing a good job :'D Imma let Japan's pervert side sneak out alot... D**

**Sashiburi: Long time no see**


	4. From: Albania

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Hello Nihon~ Its me, Albania!

Yesterday, I was on Youtube...looking up Spamano videos, when I stumbled upon something called "Vocaloid". I loved ittt~, then I found something called the Caramelldansen..SOOO CUTEE. Then I discovered Haruhi Suzumiya and.. GOD IM AN OTAKU NOW! I know your a fellow otaku so don't try to hide it! So I must ask you a few questions...

1.) What's your favorite Vocaloid?

2.) Don't you want to just put Liechtenstein in a Maid Outfit? She's so Moe~

3.) Hungary told me she saw you and Greece cuddling, is it true? Do tell, my little Nihon~

P.s, Did you know Miku Hatsune's panties are striped green and white? Not that im a perv or anything... I just go both ways.. ;)

Your fellow otaku, Albania AKA Alexandra Llyrian

* * *

Dear Alexandra-chan,

Konbanwa, Alexandra-chan.

Dou shiteru?

-is having issues refraining from fanspazzing-

Yes... Those things on Youtube are interesting to look at.

Me? An Otaku? Please, Alexandra-chan, I would ask that you refrain from speaking such lies...

-eye twitching-

Alexandra, I dislike you.

-completely gives in-

1) I love Len! He's such a shota, I can't help but stare longingly at him! ... Oh dear... Alexandra-chan, what are you doing with my mind? I shouldn't be thinking like this! But Len... he is so cute... / Please don't tell Heracles-kun I said this...

2) As much as I would enjoy doing that, I fear that Basch-san would maim me and tear my head off with a rain shower of bullets. I'm no Francis-teme, though, and would never resort to such a thing. As for drawing her like that, that might be a completely different issue. It will have to be a secret between us, Alexandra-chan. I do enjoy keeping my head, and would rather Basch didn't rip it off.

3) W-What? Elizabeta is spreading lies again! Please ignore whatever she tells you... That woman loves my Yaoi too much, and takes everything me and Heracles do the wrong way. We weren't cuddling! W-We weren't... just hugging... Was it that game the Americans like to play? Twister, is it? Sure, we can call it that for now. What happens between Heracles-kun and I is none of your business, Otaku-chan.

And yes... -blushes- I do know the color of her... erm... "Panties". I designed them, after all... I'm not a pervert, please believe me Alexandra-chan!

Also, are you suggesting something, Otaku-chan? I'm sorry to say I'm taken by Herac—I MEAN WAIT. I'm totally free and available. Just not interested... Gomennasai.

PS: Antonio and Lovino are very cute together... I will admit this much.

Your NOT fellow Otaku,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan

* * *

Konbanwa: Good Evening

Dou shiteru?: How's Everything?

Gomennasai: I'm Sorry

**I... had too much fun with this one. Keep them coming guys!**


	5. From: America

From JoyHeart

* * *

Hey Kiku!

Hey dude! You, me, video games, my house. Be there! If you're not over here within ten minutes of getting this letter I'm going to withdraw all McDonalds from your country! Just kidding Kiku, I'd never be so cruel! But seriously, you need to get bigger portions of that stuff! I mean that stuff is so tiny you're better off eating England's food cause at least that fills you up! On second thoughts, if you throw it up straight afterward you won't be full anymore so never mind! Um, what was this letter for again?

...

Oh yeah, video gasmes! So you should definitely come over really soon and if you want you can bring over some of those weird games with the cute girls on the covers covered in mayonaise you were hiding under your bed! I always love seeing all that weird stuff you make over at your house!

See you soon!

America

* * *

Dear Alfred-san,

Konbanwa, Alfred-san, it has been a while.

If I come over, will you promise not to be scared at every little thing that pops up on the screen? It's slightly irritating. I still don't understand how my games did not scare you, though, compared to the horror films you had... No offense, but they weren't frightening in the least. I thought heroes weren't supposed to cry, ne?

...

The portions are perfectly fine, thank you. I would rather not die of diabetes, Alfred-san. Besides... Arthur-san's food isn't... _that_ bad... Um... I'm not the type to lie... I'm sorry Arthur, you have no sense of taste. Even Alfred's burgers are easier to swallow than your food. I'm terribly sorry. Please forgive me.

I need my salted salmon now...

Y-You saw those? T-Those weren't w-what you think t-they were! I'm afraid I cannot bring those over... You are imagining things again. You need a new pair of glasses, Alfred-san.

If you really like the things I come up with, I think you should take a look at what some of my men (mostly women, actually) came up with. It's a short animated film of you and Arthur. I think it truly expresses the love you two have for each other. Another addition to my Hentai collection... that doesn't exist, of course.

Actually, you might hate it. I still feel it's something you need to see. I shall bring it over right away. It's very graphic... I'm sorry my people made it, but I could not stop them –did not even try—. Very professional, though.

I'll be over shortly... right after I promptly burn and dispose of those copies with the women you saw...

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan

* * *

**Woot! This is fun. Keep 'em coming! :'D**


	6. From: Albania II

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Dear Nihon,

STOP ACTING INNOCENT! Me and you both know your an otaku. Embrace your inner otaku, EMBRACE IT!

By the way, don't worry I have my eyes set on someone else..ok a few questions!

1.) Itacest Or Germancest?

2.) Hungary is spreading rumors again... she said that you topped Greece..haha what a joke!

3.) Haruhi Suzumiya or Konata Izumi?

4.) Pfft! I just got in a fight with my big sister, Romania. she says that Rin and Len are a couple, I say there twins. Well, they did come from your country, are they together or what!

5.) Umm.. do you any advice you can give me to grab a certain guys attention? It's really hard since he's so hardheaded and thinks as me as "one of the guys", I can be girly too!, I just prefer not too... I would ask France but..no...just no.

Your fellow otaku ( Don't Deny It ), Albania AKA Alexandra Llyrian

* * *

Dear Alexandra-chan,

T-This is not an act! I would never dream of doing provocative acts in public such as obsessing over beautiful 2D women! Such actions are best left for the privacy of one's home at night! Not that... not that do that I do stuff then either. Certainly not.

Sou desu ka. Would it be rude of me to ask whom it is, Otaku-chan?

Ita...cest?...

-takes a few moments to think about it-

-realization hits-

_Japan gained +1 knowledge_

OTAKU-CHAN! That is highly inappropriate! –madly blushing- You are turning into Elizabeta-san! I am ashamed... I am also _not_ going to answer that. Ludwig-san and Gilbert-kun are good friends of mine... I would rather not imagine the things they could do...-shivers-

That is not funny! Do you wish to see me angry? I'm the scariest when I am angered, trust me. Please tell Elizabeta-san to stop it with those dirty rumors already. I did not... _top_ Heracles-kun.

A hard choice, but I find Haruhi-chan to be the more appealing one (she is very kawaii indeed). I'm sure you like Konota-chan more, seeing how much of an Otaku she is as well.

-sigh-

This seems to be a question that comes up a lot. In all honesty, the two of them are whatever the maker wants them to be. Crypton-sama and I discussed this over a lot, and decided it was best not to tie them down to either twins or lovers. If it helps, they were originally planned to be twins :'D

Relationship advice? I suppose I could help. Did you try cooking for him? I've heard the easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I myself happen to love food very much.

(I will deny it),  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan

* * *

Sou desu ka: Is that so?

**To be honest, I know shitloads about the vocaloids. They are my area of expertise D Watch me get shot down easily with some random miku question. XD**


	7. From: Korea

From... person I don't know. Turned off anonymous reviews.

* * *

Hey Kiku,

How are you? Have you seen yao lately? I have to ask him to return Russia's Tatu CDs and now I can't even find him anywhere and well... he left Korea a week ago( he was hiding from Russia) so I didn't get the chance to tell him. If you help me find him I won't claim your breasts for a whole year!

From Im Yong Soo( Korea)

* * *

Dear Im Yong Soo

Watashi wa yokatta, ima made...

Why would I keep tabs on Yao? I have no clue, but hopefully not anywhere near me.

Though, I suppose I should pity even him. It must be hard getting constantly harassed by that demon of a country...

I see you have stopped saying, "Da-ze~" now. Good, it lessens my migraines.

Also, on a lighter note...

My breasts do not belong to you. Thank you, and have a good night. Please refrain from digging a hole to connect our houses as well. I don't want to see you every waking hour of the day.

Besides, even if I did help you, that wouldn't stop you from grabbing my chest. Please stop. I'll tell Heracles-kun... and he won't be very happy about it. (something tells me he might be too lazy to do anything...-sigh-)

Barely Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Watashi wa yokatta, ima made...: I was good until now...


	8. From: Nina

From cross-over-lover232

* * *

Dear kitty,

my name is Nina and i am eight and a half years old. I know this is many years too late, and i was not even born, but i wanted to say sorry for what happened in WWII with those bombs falling on your cities, and the cancer that now plages your people from it. i hope one day to vist your lands so that i may see the peace park and pray that something so frighting never ever happens to anyone again.

on a more light hearted note, will sailormoon ever come back on tv?i watched it on you tube and my aunties manga and old VHS and i agree that mamoru man os an idot! usagi should have ended up with anyone but him!

i also sent along some chocolate chip cookies i baked with my mama today,i hope they taste good!

love,

nina

* * *

Dear Nina-chan,

Sore wa anata ni aete yorokobidesu.

I appreciate your concern; it was a very sad day indeed for my people... I do like to think about it. It makes it all better when I go over to Alfred-san's house and watch him cry at horror movies, though. I don't know why I hang out with him sometimes... then again, it isn't as if I have much of a choice. He sort of... forces me into everything.

The phrase "no thank you" seems to be foreign to the "hero".

Sadly, it pains me to say it will not. It is an old anime, after all. Although, there is always the internet and maybe some more modern remakes shall be made. I believe they took it off the show in America's home because one of the ladies was a lesbian...

W-Wait... You're eight... Um... A lesbian is nothing you need to worry about... at least not yet... It's a very happy female dancer, yes, that's what it is... Please forgive me, Nina-chan's mother! I did not mean to spoil her mind at such a young! Baka! How could I do this!

-rushes to cookies and hoards them down-

T-These are delicious!

-trying to change topic-

Yes, very chocolaty indeed. They are warm and sweet, much like the monsoons that pass by my home at times.

Please take care Nina-chan... and don't mention to your mother the L word... She will not be happy with me. Gomennasai...

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Sore wa anata ni aete yorokobidesu: It is a pleasure to meet you.  
Baka: Idiot  
Gomennasai: I'm sorry.


	9. From: Greece

From Rose Fortress

* * *

Japan-kun,

That last visit went very well; I enjoyed the calligraphy lessons immensely. I'm still bad at it (but we can have more private lessons, right?), but you do it so beautifully that it's a pleasure to simply watch you trace the ink lines.

I don't mind if you think anime characters are cute, because many of them really are. I hope you still think I'm cute, though, at least for a 3D person whose hair keeps on frizzing up whenever the air gets humid or damp.

Although I do sometimes wish that you'd be a bit more open, especially since that "secret" is clearly a not-secret judging from the questions the other countries are asking you about us. But that's just who you are, and I enjoy being the only one who gets to see that side of you that emerges when you let go.

I'd invite you to visit my home on the upcoming weekend, but my boss is insistent that I catch up on my paperwork by then. Maybe we can meet again sometime next week?

-Greece

P.S. Do you think cats can be reincarnated? I recently found a kitten that paws at me and licks down his left leg just like Corporal Cat used to, and a good part of my mind thinks this is no coincidence. After all, if humans can be reincarnated just like you say, why can't cats?

* * *

Dear Heracles-kun,

It is a pleasure to hear from you, Heracles-kun.

You are free to come over at any time. You will get better with time, like all good things do... as for the private lessons, I do not think it's safe to mention them... I have a horrible feeling Francis-san would read about it and find a way to get in as well... He scares me sometimes. So much... sexual harassment...

D:

H-Heracles-kun! Of course I still... I still think you're cute... I would rather have your time over a 2D woman any day... I'm having a hard time speaking to you like this to an audience... –shyness kicks in-

Besides... I, um... find the curl on your head... to be very... cute... There, I said it. Your frizzy hair is just one of the _many_ things I enjoy about you...

I don't think I'll be getting "more open" any time soon. I'm sorry plain sex on the street is not a past time in my home like it is in yours... That's just so... unnerving, to think of having people see you like that with a person you care about. I'm glad you can deal with how stringent I am, or else I'd be lost... I don't have very many friends to begin with.

I suppose it isn't much of a secret... Maybe not as obvious as Alfred-san or Arthur-san's love, though. The sexual tension between the two of them is enough to get me queasy... Almost makes me want to scream at them to hurry up and have sex already... And that's a lot, coming from me.

It's probably also as much of a secret as Francis-san is straight. I believe I made a joke, ne?

Y-Yes! I would very much enjoy another get together. I'll, uh... have your favorite "cat" toys prepped and ready (See? I'm working on the oppeness!). I'll be eagerly awaiting your arrival, Heracles-kun!

With...um... Love...,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. I believe a cat has just as much right to reincarnate as the rest of us do. I'm happy that you have found Corporal Cat. I don't know how I would live if I were to lose Pochi! The thought is almost as scary as...-shivers-... cockroaches...

* * *

**Aww snap, Greece brings out Japan's shy side ;D Goodness me I love those two... -shipps them like there's no tomorrow-**


	10. From: Nina II

From cross-over-lover232

* * *

dear kiku,

dont worry about spoiling my mind, i already know what lesbians are becuse my auntie is in love with a lady! i think its unfair that the american goverment wouldnt let them get marreied here so they had to move to england to do it. so no need to worry on that matter, its sweet of you to worry about the state of my mind how ever!

and i am glad you liked the cookies, this time i sent along something my home state is best at makeing:roasted salted peanuts! they are very yummy.

alfred dosent force you into bad stuff does he?reamber if he trys to Bad touch you a well aimed kick to the groain will do just fine,then you can get the heck out of there!

love you lots!

nina

* * *

Dear Nina-chan,

Nani no kyūsai... I was so worried there for a second. Luwig-san would have tried to scold me if he heard I killed a little girl's brain cells today...

Ah, please don't misunderstand, America doesn't mind homosexuality that much at all. In fact, I'm almost positive he is deeply in love with Arthur-san... It wasn't the government that kicked my show off the air, but the program that was airing it. If anything, I'm sure Alfred-san enjoys watching lesbians... um, on second thought, I am not going to finish that.

Again, I worry for your poor innocent brain cells, Nina-chan.

Salted, did you say? I already like them, then.

-nom nom-

Ah... the salty goodness. Arigato, Nina-chan.

No, they aren't always bad, I suppose... I mean... He did force the friendship... and forced me to go to his last Christmas party... That neon pink cake was horrendous.

And bad touch? Is that a song? I don't think I understand...

I don't think I could harm Alfred-san in such a way... If I must, I will simply bring out my Katana. As a fellow man, I know the pain it brings... It does hurt to just think about it...

Thank you Nina-chan, I enjoy speaking to you as well.  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. Also... I do not mind if you call me kitty... I find it cute... I-I don't sound like a pedophile, do I? Unless you don't know what that means... oh dear.

* * *

**Nani no kyūsai: **What a relief...  
**Arigato:** Thank you

**Pedo Japan? Unlikely, too funny to think about XD**


	11. From: Sealand

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Japan,

Hi! You're one of the few that saw me at the meeting right? That jerk won't let me come to the world meetings anymore, but I still try! Maybe you can recognize me, so I can come to them again and you can give me more power rangers, and another suit for Ravis!

In speaking of Ravis...

I've been feeling really awkward around him lately. When I hang out with him, my tummy feels funny and I get really happy when he calls (or he answers). Do you know what's going on with me? Am I sick?

Also I'm spending the weekend with Alfred & Mum- I mean the jerk. They Wrestle really, REALLY, loud.

Do you have any earplugs?

Sincerly, Peter Kirkland,

Sealand.

* * *

Dear... Peter-kun,

Ah yes, I remember you know. I'm sorry you are not allowed to come anymore. This is a shame. Being a country is a lot of hard work, though. Some of us have taken hundreds to thousands of years to rise to power. With any luck, you can overcome your problems with Arthur-san and rise to great power as well.

With this letter I am sending you the whole full collection of all the colored Power Rangers. I even included the generation with the dinosaur robot transformation versions. This is a big favorite with many children... No offense.

...

Peter-kun, I do not think this is a conversation to be having with me. I would say to take this up with Francis-san... but I'm afraid that would only mentally (and psychically) scar you for life...

You are not sick, Peter-kun. This is something normal for someone of your age... At least I think... I'm too old for this. You see, there are the birds and the bees... and...

...

And you're too young for this. They are playing Twister, Peter-kun, let's just leave it at that... Maybe you should play that with Raivis-san as well... Please ignore what I just said.

As you make your journey towards becoming a bigger country, you also make your journey to becoming a man, Peter-kun. Honestly, you should consider yourself lucky you don't have to deal with the other nations. Most of them are just walking testosterone bombs ready to explode. Which is why you need to stay away from Francis-san at all costs. Country or not, that man loves sex... Um... you know what sex is, right? Please don't make me explain...

Watashi wa kore o okonau koto wa dekimasen...

If you need any more help, I will try to answer them to the best of my abilities... but as for those stomach feelings... you should ask someone else. I'm sure Arthur-san wouldn't mind explaining... maybe.

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Watashi wa kore o okonau koto wa dekimasen: **I can not do this...

**-ahem-**

**SEEAAALLLLLAAAANNNNDDDDDDDD-KUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!**

**-cough-**

**Sorry, I just really like sealand... alot.**


	12. From: Nina III

From cross-over-lover232

* * *

dear kiku kitty,

i think watching american TV would kill my brain cells more then you aniki,so dont worry!

And i think alfred loves arthur too, but a bad history just stands in the way. -sigh- why are some men so pig head aniki? a lot of people like to see you and yao snuggle, something about being the east asian americaXengland?-tilt head-

Why did alfred have a pink cake at a christmas party?pink is valentines day silly boy! and bad touch is when a person touchs you in betwee your legs,your back side or chest area with out asking!

love,

nina

PS:you dont sound like a bad man, your nice and fluffy. and umm some times i like to pretend you and greece are my real family instead of the family i have now.

* * *

Dear Nina-chan,

I understand completely. Have you seen that show they have called... Chikusho... I think it was called Jersey Shop? Horse... Show... Shore! Yatta! Jersey Shore, yes! I watched one episode...

And I felt my IQ drop.

It was a most painful experience. I'm going to stick to anime from now on...

Bad history has a very bad tendency to get in the way. Take me and Yao, for example, like you mentioned. Although I don't really like him, I can't say I wouldn't mind being friends. As long as he doesn't call me his younger brother and recognizes my strength... I would like to say I'm not too pig skinned... thick... whatever it was you said the men were. I'm still trying to learn all these new phrases and allusions westerners seem to use a lot.

As for snuggling with Yao... Please don't make me imagine that. I can only express disappointment in my own people with how much they draw the two of us together... You would not believe all of the Doujinshi I've been forced to read out of curiosity (yeah... that's what it is) that included the two of us. I will stick with Heracles-kun, thank you.

It was, as Alfred-san likes to say, "Totally _not_ awesome-sauce."

Again, I think I just felt my IQ drop for saying that.

Such odd colors for cakes... they were so unnatural... They made me sick.

Is that so? Bad touch... I'll keep this in mind... I could use this for another hen—um, ignore that... But... isn't that just rape? I would know... Francis-san was nice enough to demonstrate... I'm going to stab him with my Katana some day.

M-Me and Heracles-kun? A-As parents? That is...um... a new idea... I could do it, I'm sure... -blush-

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Chikusho: Shit

**Das cute... but Japan would TOTALLY be the mom. XD Greece make perfect manly man... -imagines Japan in mommy cooking dress-  
Japan: Stop that righ this instance, Parry-chan! I do not belong in a dress...**


	13. From: Greece II

From Rose Fortress (I love her...)

* * *

Dear Kiku-kun,

It's a pleasure to hear from you too, especially since I don't get to see you as often as I'd like.

I don't think Francis is _that_ bad; I've discussed philosophy with him on occasion and he's actually an amiable fellow when he doesn't have perverted thoughts in mind. (We're just friends, don't worry; I haven't had sex with him for a long time now.) But if he ever does sexually harass you, I'm sure he'd only live as long as it takes you to get to your katana. I've seen you when you get mad, and you'd terrify even Russia in that state (Sadiq agrees with me on this, as loath as I am to admit it).

And if he somehow lives even after that, I'll make sure to finish the job for you. My cats aren't _declawed_, after all...

I'm glad to hear that. Sadiq told me that I look like a homeless slob because I don't bother to try straightening my hair (that device you gave me didn't work, unfortunately) or wear something fancy every once in a while, you see. Of course, I should have known better than to listen to that masked bastard; _he_ wears that hideously gaudy red-gold getup that'd blind people from twenty feet away, as if he's trying to show off how cool he _thinks_ he is when he just looks like someone who's desperate for recognition he isn't getting. Too bad, Sadiq; you're not getting into the EU anytime soon!

Ahem. Sorry about that. I know you want me to try getting along better with him, but it's so very hard, especially when he tries "protecting" you from me. At least I know you'd never call _him_ cute in that ridiculous getup of his. (Right?)

I understand that your culture's very different from mine. I don't mind people seeing us together because I sort of like having them know you're with me, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I'll do my best to keep things private.

You're hardly the only one who can feel these two's sexual tension radiating throughout the room; sometimes it's so thick that it disturbs my sleep. Part of me suspects they've done it already and are just making their fights even louder to cover it up. (I wonder how England would react if he was shown all the fanfic about him and America on here...?)

You did, and it was a good joke too. *smiles*

...Cat toys? I'll have to speed up the paperwork over here, then. Since you're working on your openness, I'll work on overcoming my laziness in return. You do a better job than anyone else at motivating me to get things done, and I hope you keep on with that job. *winks*

Love,

Greece

P.S. What scares you so much about cockroaches? They do have a tendency to pop up in the most unexpected places, but they're easily squashable so they don't seem like much of a threat to me...

* * *

Dear Heracles-kun,

I agree, this is an issue that needs to be immediately addressed. Get to work and finish those papers.

...

That doesn't change the fact you actually had sex with him... Do you have any idea where his... um... "wanker"(learned this from Arthur-san!) has been? I'm almost positive it's been shoved into just about every possible ditch and gutter. Even I can't begin to fathom as to how the thing hasn't fallen off his waist due to rot. Please take a thorough shower... that rat is full of disease. But as you said, vermin are easily removed by the steel of my sword. And I wasn't _that_ angry. Still, it was quite the rush! My blood was boiling. There was even a puff of frustration! Quite the achievement, I think.

I don't think even your cats deserve to be wasted on him. I mean... really. He's too indecent. You are too at times, and while it does irk me at times, you are certainly more lovable. And not a rapist, let's not forget that as well.

Ignore Sadiq-san, please... You are...um... perfect the way you are... don't l-let him tell you otherwise...B-But anyways, you say the device didn't work? Shimata... I'll get to work on a new one. I think he looks nice... His old attire from the Ottoman Turks was certainly interesting as well... But... I suppose you don't really want to talk about him, do you? G-Gomennasai! Forgive me Heracles-kun, I do not wish to bring up unpleasant subjects with you...

Um... well... maybe not cute... but, certainly interesting... Gomennasai once more, Heracles-kun! You are... cuter of course. (Why do I have such a hard time with this? It always just flows out in bed—WAIT. No one read that...)

Am I frustrating to you, Heracles-kun? I always pester you about showing affection in public. I don't know how you support me sometimes, to be honest. Even with the slightest touch, I turn beet red and slap your hand away. When I write it out, I sound like a monster! Please forgive me! And forgive me for apologizing so much! Kuso... I keep doing it. GOMENNASAI. –bows profusely-

Baka... –slaps cheek- Ochitsuku...

With the way Arthur-san stutters around Alfred-san every time they talk during meetings, something tells me they have. I am very good at reading the atmosphere, and the atmosphere that surrounds Arthur-san practically screams (forgive me for saying this), "FUCK ME NOW!" Alfred-san seems slightly too happy to oblige... Again, people have no shame and do everything in public.

Arthur-san would be disgusted by the writing on here, of course. Then he would proceed by promptly reading everything his eyes can digest the second everyone leaves. It'll go something along the lines of, "Those bloody gits, trying to write me and that Yankee in bed... Bloody bull shit, is what...what it...is... Wow this bloody fucking good. I didn't know Alfred was _that _flexible... IS THAT ME AND THE FRENCH FROG! NO! TO BLOODY HELL WITH THIS!" Then he would throw his computer out the window and ask me to make him a new one. The future, it has just been told.

I feel accomplished now. As Alfred-san likes to say, "Lolz, that wuz awesome."

Itai... My IQ... I felt it again! It dropped! What should I do!

Yoi, get to work then. I will go right now and cook for you. I'll let the door open to let the cats in, since I know you love them so. They are all so fluffly... –gets distracted and pets cats- So... kawaii...

Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. I abhor cockroaches. One of them scurried under my bed last night... I still haven't gone to sleep. –head slams on computer-

* * *

Shimata: shit  
Kuso: shit/fuck  
Gomennasai: I'm sorry  
Baka: Idiot  
Ochitsuku: Calm down  
Itai: Ouch  
Yoi: good  
Kawaii: cute

**ME AND ROSE SHIP THESE TWO LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW. EVERYONE WILL BOW DOWN TO THE GREAT PAIRING THAT IS GIRIPANNNNNNN! Right Rose? Myess. Reviews and letters, plox!**


	14. From Sealand II

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Japan,

Squee! Thank you Japan! I love Power Rangers! I was playing it with Alfred, the jerk, and Ravis the other day. Alfred was the red ranger, I was the blue ranger, The Jerk was the yellow ranger, and Ravis was the green ranger... then Russia came out of no where claiming that everyone should join him, the pink ranger.

It was really fun!

What do Birds and Bees have to do with the weird feeling in my stomach? I don't think bees are stinging the inside of my tummy... I think that would me painful.

I asked Hungary-san, and she just squealed, and laughed at me saying something about shota-yaoi... what's Shota? and Yaoi?

Should I ask Google? because when I Arthur he just blushed and told me to bugger off... he was also mumbling something about "bloody americans..."

Your not very helpful with these matters, aren't you?

Sincerely,

Peter Kirkland

~Sealand

* * *

Dear Peter-kun,

I'm glad to hear you like them. If you want figurines for anything, please ask me, and I will see what I can do.

-smiles-

I do enjoy imagining Ivan dressed in pink. Thank you Peter-kun, you have brightened up my day with that. You should come over to my home sometime, and I will show you my own collection. We can even play together! I like playing the white ranger and swooping in and saving the pink ranger and—Oh dear. I got off track there. Please excuse my odd behavior. I get excited when it comes to those things...

No, bugs are not stinging your belly. This REALLY isn't something to ask me. It's so... inappropriate. Um, well you see... plants... they have seeds and ovaries (You... don't know what those are either, do you?). And when they need to have babies the birds and the bees... you know what, never mind, I have a better method for this. I'll send you a book...

Chikusho, Elizabeta-chan... Why would you say such things to him?

Shota is what you are, Peter-kun...

Yaoi is what your "mum" and Alfred-san practice. If you really need to learn more, walk in on their next wrestling session. Notice how they... um... are... naked...

Don't ask Google-sama. You'll learn too much for your own good. I fear your brain could melt.

I-I can be helpful! I just... My culture is not the type to explain or do such things in public... then again, you still are clueless as to what such things I speak off.

Check the rest of the mail, I clipped a manga book from my—I mean, Francis' collection. Remember, that French man is a perverted testosterone bomb. This was certainly not made by me... no, not at all –nervous sweat-

It's um, called Watashi wa ai... What these two men are doing... everything will be explained.

On second thought, ask Google-sama. He knows everything.

Wishing you luck,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Watashi wa ai: Love me

**I have NO clue if that manga I just named is an actual yaoi book... just kinda made it up. It most likely is XD**


	15. From: Republic of Nauru II

From ghost-dark

* * *

Dear Kiku-nii,

I knew you would remember me!(What about Mattie-chan?) I know I sound like Prussia-nii writing this, but I am too awesome to be forgotten!

And yeah, I hook you up with some coconuts if send me some of that salmon and some sake. You should get the coconuts with this letter anyway. :)

I'll send Gilbird too. He is pecking at my head. D:

Luddy-nii needs to relax and get that stick out his butt! The past is the past. But it would be HILARIOUS to see him shove a wurst down Al-nii's throat! Haha!(Man, I hate those things...) Tell him we could always grab a beer together!

If Prussia-nii is being a problem, tell him. Simple. (:

And don't worry. I won't waste my money.

But I can't guarantee that I won't stay out trouble! XD

Love,

Republic of Nauru

P.S. Which is cuter? Australia's koala, or Gilbird?

* * *

Dear Nauru-san,

Mattie-shi... who's that?

... It is a hard trade, but I believe I can give away my salmon and sake... only because I'm curious to try out the coconuts. Please treat my fish with care...

Thank you for sending Gilbird-kun... now I have bird droppings to attend to... –sigh- I'll send him on his way as way... I'm sure Gilbert-kun is missing him, anyways.

What! There is a stick in Ludwig-san's rear! This is terrible! I need to tell him of this right away! How did it get there! I hope this wasn't some horrible trick done by Lovino-san just to spite both his brother and Ludwig-san... –scurries away—

-comes back about an hour later-

That... was not enjoyable. I thought I was supposed to be smarter than this... He didn't have a stick in there at all! I was irritated because I thought you lied to me at first... thankfully Ludwig-san explained what you meant... I bring shame upon myself. /wrists

As for the beer you mentioned, he said he would like that. Gilbert-kun said he would like to see you as well. He(Gilbert-kun) mentioned something about a gang bang... So please be careful, Nauru-san.

I don't mind him, actually. He's very interesting to have over. He eats and drinks everything, but it's really all right, I don't mind cooking at all. It's not Alfred-san, anyways, who inhales my entire kitchen. He's very fun to be around. He's also very blunt... something I wish to be better at. Alfred-san did mention I was too polite and needed to "man up" as he called it.

I'd like to believe I'm more a man than him, thank you.

Well, I suppose that is better than nothing.

As Alfred-san likes to say...

"Ttyl!"

Urg... my IQ dropped again... Itai...

Honda Kiku

-Japan/Nihon

(Koala. Much more Kawaii, in my honest opinion. Forgive me, Gilbird-san)

* * *

Itai: Ouch...

Kawaii: Cute

**America influences him too much XD Please tell me if I'm doin' good keepin' in character, btw!**


	16. From: Albania III

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Dear Nihon,

If you really must know.. I have a crush on..Alfred. There I said It! I tried cooking for him those cheeseburgers he likes so much but then he just laughed and said " Haha! What are you doing? Lets go out to drink some beer man!" Why can't he treat me like a girl sometimes? Wow I sound like a desperate teenage girl.. ENOUGH WITH MA LUV LIFE PLZ! I have more important matters to discuss..

During the last World Meeting, I saw Prussia and France reading a doujinshi.. a yuri doujinshi... of me and Hungary..care to explain this to me?... And why was I uke!

Pfft, It probably wasn't you, I wouldn't be amazed if France did that himself.

Also, Heracles visited me the other day and ever since then cats been appearing at my house, I felt bad for them so I went to give them tuna and they attacked me... please help. They only leave when it's night but they come back the next day. I have my whole right leg bandaged...

With great fear for her life,

Albania AKA Alexandra Llyrian

* * *

Dear Otaku-chan,

I can sincerely only express my disappointment in you when you say you like Alfred-san... I'm not trying to be rude or anything... But as all the other countries like to put it, "He's an ass. A stupid one at that." And if offering him a burger did not work, then it pains me to say there is no hope. And love is a very important matter to discuss! Unless it's discussed with Francis-san, then it's more of a conversation of, "Ok, when do we fuck?"

If you really want to have Alfred-san at your feet begging for a hug, I suggest you offer to watch a horror movie with him. He will be all over you in seconds flat begging to be comforted. If that doesn't get him in your pants... then I'm afraid nothing else will. Unless you say there is a dilema in your pants and only a hero can fix. He might actually be stupid enough to fall for it... Ah Alfred-san, he is dumb, but he is still a good friend to me... When he's not forcing it on me, of course.

W-What! I d-didn't write it! I-I swear! It... it was a gift! No, even better, I was gun point by Francis-san's *beep*! He said he would shoot it all over my face if I didn't make it! THE INDECENCY OF IT ALL. I had to do it...

Oh wait... you think I didn't do it... Um, y-yes, of course! I'm innocent...

Heracles-kun visited you? He's coming over to my house soon. I'm giving him private Calligraphy lessons... We haven't gotten far... F-For reasons you don't need to know about it...

"You should put that fast hand of yours to better uses, Kiko," he says... What am I supposed to do under such pressure! –secretly enjoys it-

They are probably Heracles-kun's cats that were left behind. They are simply missing their okasama. Then again, who wouldn't miss Heracles-kun? Um... I'm getting off track again.

Hoping it gets better,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Okasama: mother (formal)

**I love making fun of other countries in Japan's letters XD keep the reviews and the letters comin'!**


	17. From: Nina IV

From cross-over-lover232

* * *

dear kiku kitty,

i like old tv shows, the movies in black and white ohhh and shirley temple movies are really good! but i agree anime is far better to watch and has much more plot, lately american cartoons are all about poop and fart jokes,yech. take south park and that thing called robot chicken on adult swim!

and i think you would make a nice mama like finland does to sealand becuse mamas are more stren and for the rules, while greece would be the laid back daddy saying kids need to have fun and stop punishing her for the teeny things!

i imange you as my mama and greece as my daddy when ever things get too loud and mama and daddy arent talking to each other. mamas a democrat and daddys a republicen so they get into a lot of fights..

love,

nina!

* * *

Dear Nina-chan,

Ah yes, the black and white movies. Alfred-san showed me some of those when I came over, but they were so odd. Again, I like my anime the best. I also noticed all the profanities in Alfred-san's shows. I might have my own... profanities in my mine, but not to the extent where everything is a fart followed by sex... well, maybe.

Do... do you think I am stern? Well when I think about it, I suppose I am a bit... I suppose that's one of the things I could say I enjoy about Heracles-kun, how laid back he is. A lot of people can't keep up with my rules at times...

-blush- Again... imagining me and Heracles-kun as a functional family and taking care of you... It's something I can't think of... or rather, actually imagine and get flustered thinking about.

I'm sorry to hear your parents fight, but everyone bickers at time. Look on the bright side, at least it's not Arthur-san and Francis-san bickering. Then it would just be a lot of loud sexual tension... if you know what that is.

If you do, you are a very intelligent eight year who knows a lot about the sensual world... What kind of T.V. are you watching again? Have you been talking to Google-sama lately? He has a nasty habit of spoiling children's minds...

Wondering,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon


	18. From: Sealand III

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Kiku,

We could totally play that! You can be the white ranger and Mummy and Daddy- I mean... the jerk and Alfred, can play too! I can be blue, alfred can be red, The Jerk can be yellow! It'll be awesome! We can even get Greece to be the Pink ranger for you!

Well, I asked google and Yahoo answers, and they said that I just really really like Ravis... alot, and that I also might be going through puberty... I hope it's the latter, I want to be taller!

Oh... so that's why she said "Shota Yaoi!" Although I really, really wish that you didn't catch me calling the jerk "Mum"...

... wait. I just realized something. I HAVE FOUR DADS!

Sincerely horrified,

Peter Kirkland,

Sealand

* * *

Dear Peter-kun,

...

Please don't tell me even a twelve year old can tell of me and Heracles-kun's relationship? Why do I even bother... Muimina...

Anyways, I would very much enjoy having you over to play. And I, unlike Francis-san, will not lead you into my household with promise of gifts just to mishandle you. Please stay away from Francis-san. He lured me to his home one time with the promise of a special edition Len Kagamine figurine... It was all a terrible, terrible lie. My life(and my hind)... will never be the same.

I would say it's a little of both. I'm sorry to tell you this, but it is a fate that most all countries share when it comes to liking other men. Be prepared, your future will hold a lot of... back pains.

I should not be telling this to a child. Baka! –slaps self-

I think it's enlightening you call Arthur-san "mum". Maybe it well help loosen him up a bit and help him make friends. (Because we both need them...)

... Four Fathers? –innocently lost-

Hoping it get betters on your end,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. I'm ever so relieved you didn't bother to read the manga I sent...

* * *

Muimina: Pointless  
Baka: idiot!

**I enjoy having Japan try to explain things.**


	19. From: Honda Miu

From APH Bermuda

* * *

Dear Nihon-Sama,

konnichiha Nihon-sama. This is Miu You know 福井県(Fukui Prefecture). I'm one of your prefectures. How are you Aniki? I am working very hard to keep everything stable here. Shibuya-san is also helping me out as well.

Recently I was hired at a Cosplay cafe. The owner is very nice to me and so is the other staff. But France keeps coming to the cafe just pull at my neko maid costume. T.T Can you tell him to leave me alone Aniki?

Your very frightened little sister,

Honda Miu

* * *

Dear Miu-san,

Ah, Konnichiwa, Imoto. Dou Shiteru?

It is good to hear from you and your hard work. Remember, only good, hard labor gets anyone anywhere! Please tell Shibuya-san I give my greetings.

A cosplay café? Kawaii!—I mean, how nice. And I'm sorry Francis-san bothers you there. He has a tendency to be a gokan han sometimes. Scratch that, _all_ the time. Although I would say for you to say something to bruise his ego, I doubt that is even possible. Ignoring him might work best, seeing as he thinks it is impossible to look past his "sexiness".

I will speak to him and tell him to keep his distance. If that does not work, then I hack at him with my katana. Problem solved.

Miu-san... I have a question. Is what is happening between me and Heracles-kun _that_ obvious? I am ashamed of myself...

Sadly,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Kiku

* * *

Konnichiwa: Good afternoon  
Imoto: younger sister  
Dou shiteru?: How's everything?  
Kawaii: Cute  
Gokan-han: Rapist


	20. From: Albania IV

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Dear Nihon,

Alfred is too dumb. Yeah, Im over him... that and... Im a USUK supporter. Anyways, I found someone who actually shares feelings with me! My dear Belgium~ Im uke though but who cares! She says If I ask nicely I can be Seme sometimes. I won't actually mind if someone wrote a yuri doujinshi of us~ -you actually have my permission-

Calligraphy? I won't question it any further.

So I made this cute outfit for Liechtenstein, its the battle waitress thing that mikuru wears in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I was thinking that while I distract Switzerland, you can make her wear it and send me the pictures?

With Love,

Albania AKA Alexandra Llyrian

* * *

Dear Otaku-chan, (are you bothered by that name?)

I'm sorry you have come to this conclusion... Although I do enjoy Alfred-san's company, mainly because of our similar interests, he can be... empty headed at times. U-Um, I would rather not know of what you and Belgium-san get into at night... Please keep that to yourself. .

W-Why would I write a doujinshi of you two? My people do that...n-not me, definitely not me... Ask Francis-san to make one for you... I also definitely don't have a stash already made. Nope, not at all.

Exactly... don't question. I mean, unless you _really_ want details.

I'll have you know I am not a rapist and would never force Liechtenstein-chan into a dress! Imagine what Basch-san would do to us after! This is too risky, and completely unnecessary. Wouldn't a simple drawing please you? I'll even make you a doujinshi! Please don't make me invoke the wrath of Basch-san...

Does not want to die,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon


	21. From: Lucy

From SheepAteMyFanBoys

* * *

OMFK ITS NIHON-SAMA! *glomps to floor*,

-ahem- excuse my fangirlishness, but I love you and request that I have your children (what did you expect, you're the home of nintendo.) So anyway, the point of this letter is to inform you that I'm coming to kidnap you and lock you in my closet for the rest of eternity.

LOOOOVVVE YOOOOUUU,

Your Biggest Fangirl,

Lucy (or Lucipher as some of my friends call me... can't think why...)

* * *

D-Dear Lucy-san,

Oh dear.

-gets tackled to floor-

Ow... my back... my bones... I'm too old for this...

M-My c-children? I'm afraid I can't let you do that. Please don't steal me! I do not tolerate intruders and all shall meet the steel of my blade! Please don't rape me... Heracles-kun would not be happy. You wouldn't want a sad Greece-chan, would you? –nervous sweat-

When should I expect your visit? I need to be ready...

Sincerely scared,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Lol I love fangirls.**


	22. From: Spain

From yami'sguardian

* * *

Dear Kiku,

Hola mi amigito! Como estas? I just wanted to say thank you for getting me those albums for all those pictures of lovi sleeping~ ahahaha I know you said to not mention it, but I can't NOT say thanks enough! Lovi ripped the last ones to shreds TT-TT so as thanks I am going to send you a basket of some of my best tomatoes and vino blanco to go with your salmon~ I know it's not as good as your sake (and your sake is really good) but I hope you like it all the same!

Oh and two more things. do you think there would ever be tomato flavored pocky? Que Rico! :D

and lastly Heracles is a good friend of mine so it's no secret what you both do behind closed doors. :3 lighten up mi hijito! There are people that support you! :) be a little more open! Ladies love it~ ahaha~ well I better get going romanito wants to harvest the tomatoes together~ ow lovi you don't have to hit me you know it's true~

have fun with mr. Kitty cats Kiku!

Yours,

Antonio (the tomato king)

* * *

Dear Antonio-san,

I'm doing good, thank you for asking... Or at least I was until you brought up the pictures. Really, Antonio-san, how do you expect a dying old man to run such a kinky business when you go advertising my services to unwanted ears? Shimata... I just helped advertise. Please, to all other readers, avert your eyes...

This will go perfectly with my supper tonight! I can use the wine to cook the fish, then serve what's left to drink. The tomatoes will cook great as well. Arigatou gozaimasu, Antonio-san, I will have a feast tonight! Now if only I wasn't spending it alone...

Tomato flavored? Well, while there is no actual tomato pocky, there is Tomato flavored Pretz, which is the pocky minus the cream on the outside. I suggest you try it... but I'll work on tomato pocky, just for you.

-sigh-

I can tell it's not a secret. EVERYONE knows. Its slightly irks me that NO ONE can mind their business –glares at other countries-. I don't even know why I bother hiding it. It's not that I hide it... I just don't like doing intimate things I'm public... I'm, uh... well... I'm shy, simply put. –stares at ground in shame-

I hope you have fun harvesting Lovino-san's tomatoes.

Wait... That came out wrong. Dirty, bad mind! –smacks self-

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Arigatou gozaimasu: Thank you**

**Le gasp! I love spain :'D It's even more awesome cause I'm fluent in spanish and understand... now if only I were fluent in Japanese... POOP. I'm workin' on that...**


	23. From: Torie

From siriusly chibi

* * *

Hello Kiku!

I'm Torie, I'm 16 and I come from England's only little brother, Northern Ireland's house. A little advice, don't get him mixed up with Ireland cause he'll shoot you. Possibly England too just for the luls.

I shall start by saying that I love your culture and your Pocky. And sakura blossoms.

Also, I've read all your other letters and thought I'd tell you that we all know you're not as innocently niave as you like to pretend, just like your relationship with Greece, so why do you contine to hide it? I mean Giripan is the most kawaii pairing ever.

What is your favourite animal? Personally I love dogsor parrots

Do you have any pets apart from Poochi? Unfortunately my dog left us a while ago, but I have a pet rock somewhere.

Do you hate France as much as I? I'm British so...

Miku Hatsune or Teto Kasane?

Why after having a 9 yr old Volkswagen and a Skoda for 8 do we have problems with our first Japanese car (ironically a Honda) after just 3 years?

Sorry, I never run out of questions.

~Torie

* * *

Dear Torie-san,

It is an honor to meet you, Torie-san. I will keep what you have said in mind for future reference.

Not to sound full of myself like Francis or Alfred... but my Pocky _is_ pretty delicious. The sakura blossoms always bring a joy to someone's heart when watching them bloom.

I-It's not that I try to hide it... I just don't like advertising it. Do people really just want me to go around with a loud speaker screaming, "I JUST FUCKED HERACLES-KUN IN SOME LADIES BACK PORCH! MY ASS HURTS." ? No, I will leave that kind indecency for Francis-san.

Well, I do love dogs as well, seeing as I have Pochi-chan, but I also love cats... Thus me and Heracles-kun getting along so well.

Oh yes! I actually have a rabbit and a guinea pig as of now. I have a terrible weakness for cute and fluffy things...

Well, I don't _hate_ him. I tolerate him, at most. After several rape, I can safely say I'm not fond of him. As stated before... my rear will never be the same. "No" is not in his vocabulary...

Miku Hatsune, in my honest opinion. She was the first big success, after all, right after Meiko and Kaito.

W-What! There must be something wrong with that model then! After experiencing the horrors of what is Feliciano-san's driving, I've spent years perfecting the safe cars... I will send you a new one right away!

Always willing to answer your questions,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Lol, can't wait till an actual France sends a letter. XD I dun think the other america or korea will reply anytime soon, so those are open I suppose... **


	24. From: Republic of Nauru III

From ghost-dark

* * *

Dear Kiku-nii,

Canada. Alfred's brother. Blonde. Always holding a polar bear. Has that long curl. Come on Japan-nii! D:

Do not worry! I'll treat your fish with care...by eatin' it. You must really like that stuff. Hope you enjoy the coconuts!

But seriously, you checked? Hehe...I remember making a mistake like that when I was kid...sorry Prussia-nii.

But what about gang bang? What did Gilbert do?

Anyway, being blunt...isn't always a good thing...I once said Hungary was a Austrian-obsessed psycho.

Guess who got a frying pan in the face. And it wasn't Prussia.(Actually, he did for agreeing)

Love,

Republic of Nauru

P.S. So, we agree. :)

P.P.S. Who is Lovino? :(

* * *

Dear Nauru-san,

Oh! Gomennasai! I remember him now! He is so terribly quiet though...

I don't like fish, Nauru-san, I _love_ it. The coconuts are delicious, by the way. The juice is so sweet!

I-I was worried! It would have been horrible if Ludwig-san had died due to a stick in his rear and I wouldn't have done a thing! He would haunt me, I'm sure of it.

"You killed me Kiku... you didn't warn me about the stick up my ass... And I thought it was Feliciano's *beep*... _WHYYYYYYYYYYY?_" I'm going to have nightmares of Ludwid-san's spirit now.

No, I am warning _you_ about gang bang. You know how Gilbert-kun is, saying he is a big burly man. I'm sure the second he sees your chest he will bail out though... Ludwig-san wouldn't do anything to you, though. His mind is (creepily enough) focused all around Feliciano-kun.

I suppose this is true. It is a pain when I try to think of an appropriate answer without offending the other... Sometimes I just want to let go, you know?

T-That sounds painful! Elizaveta-san should be more careful. Not only is she leaking photos of me and Heracles-kun (I don't want to know how she even got them.) but she's running around hurting people! D:

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. Lovino-san is Feliciano-kun's brother. Romano or South Italy, as he is formally known to other countries.


	25. From: Albania V

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Dear Nihon,

I actually do enjoy being called an Otaku. Yeah, I think I gaved you to much info about me and Bella, sorry about that. Damn, I was really hoping I could've gotten your help to get Lily in that outfit...I can always use Prussia or England(drunk of course) to distract our little trigger happy swiss. If its successful I'll send you the pictures.

By the way, the other day I was drinking some beer after the meeting when i saw France sprinkle some sparkle-ish dust (Edward Cullens Dandruff?) in England's drink when he wasn't looking. A few minutes England was asleep and France drove him home... did I just witness something that could lead to a date-rape?

Really Confused,

Albania AKA Alexandra Llyrian

P.S

I think Belarus hates me. The other day she "accidentally" pushed me off the stairs...that's been the fourth time this month.

* * *

Dear Otaku-chan,

I'm glad to hear you like the name. It would have saddened me to have to leave it off...

And no, you didn't say too much. At least not yet. You pass the line when you reach Alfred/Arthur level. Or even Francis/EVERYONE level. I would still rather not hear of your "sexcapades" as Francis-san likes to put it. It's not like I would write and publish it... pfft.

Is Basch-san even afraid of anything? Maybe losing all of his money and having his banks close down. That would be most unfortunate. Why would you want Lily-chan in that suit anyways? She seems too... uke for that sort—never mind, I see your point.

Edward... Cullen? Is that the western-american vampire I've been hearing about? Is it true he's a gay diamond dust collector? Well, that's what Arthur-san told me... But I wouldn't know.

That, Otaku-chan, is indeed "date-rape". As much as Francis-san hates Arthur-san... He would never pass up a good "quick fuck". I don't feel right saying that word...

I think you should go search for Arthur-san when you have the chance. He is most likely naked at the bottom of the Eifel Tower... I'm sure he could really use some help. Just tell him you're a fairy, he'll follow you even in his drunken state.

Worrying for the English man,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. Did you go near Ivan(the man does not deserve an honorific in his vile name)? That woman is just as much of an obsessed demon as that tyrant. She probably got jealous and overprotective.


	26. From: Lucy II

From SheepAteMyFanBoys **(I loled so much reading this)**

* * *

My dearest Nihon-Sama,

No, I wouldn't want poor little Greece to be sad. I must come up with a solution! ... EUREKA! I SHALL MURDER GREECE SO HE WONT FEEL SAD ANYMORE! IT'S PERFECT!

No need to be scared, Nihon-Sama, I wont hurt you if you don't struggle... I will become the mother of your children, Japan, you don't get a say in this.

Lots and lots of scary love,

Your Future Wife (whether you like it or not. 8D ),

Lucy

ps Don't worry about your bones, you wont need them for long!

* * *

Dear Demon,

Usually, I am calm and collective when it comes to dealing with rabid fangirls... but I draw the line when Heracles-kun is threatened. I will abandon all of my values and morals if I must protect my l...my lo.. my l-lover! (Phew, finally said it)

When I think about it, I don't think you could actually house my children. Do you have any idea how old I am? It is by miracle my bones haven't fallen off... I'm not saying my, um, "functions", are old and disfunctional! Certainly not, I'm still as active and rigorous as I was when I was young! Why, just ask Heracles-kun!

...

Why am I sharing this again? That was beyond my own personal line... I bring shame onto myself... /wrists

You shall not be my wife!  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. You are called Lucipher after the devil Lucifer... I am sure of it now...

* * *

**Again, I giggled too much to this. Crazy fan girls ftw.**


	27. From: Sealand IV

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Kiku,

Well, It's not THAT obvious... Okay it is, but what do you expect? Last world meeting in the UK, I could hear you and him doing what Mummy and Daddy do from my place! I'm sorry, but you're louder than Mum, and he's REALLY LOUD!

It's nice to know you won't rape me, Francis tried that once and Daddy beat him over the head with a McDonalds sign! Francis will not give you Power Ranger's if you go near him!

My bum and back would hurt? Like Mummy?...what if Ravis' bum hurt instead! Then mine wouldn't have to! ...lol you've already told a child! :D

Well I call Arthur, Mummy, for a good reason... (I would tell you, but involves Britannia Angel, a misfired spell, and Alfred)

You know, Alfred, Arthur, Fin-papa and Su-papa. that counts as 4!

Giggling much,

Peter Kirkland

~Sealand

P.S. I wanted to, but Mummy went through my mail, read it, blushed, and burned it...

* * *

Dear Peter-kun,

Well, it's official. I'm done trying. I'm fucking Heracles-kun so hard up the ass it makes Francis-san cry...

I'll be right back, I need to scrub my tounge with soap. I certainly hope everyone else is happy now...

Seikō watashi...

Also, I'm not _that_ loud. W-Why were you even listening! You're 12! This is inappropriate behavior and talk for someone of your age! Why can't anyone ever talk to me about cats for a change? Why is always about what me and Heracle-kun did at one point?

I wouldn't rape anyone in general. That is completely not in my character. Doing such things is an immoral act that should only happen on paper... which is why it happens a lot on paper. Francis-san is not a man of fantasy, and likes to do everything in his reality... why? 2D is so much better...

I know I've told a child and I am ashamed of myself! Please don't remind of my wrong doings... And I don't think you realize _why_ it is your bum would hurt. I would rather not explain, but let me tell you, it is something your innocent mind should not be dwelling on yet. Arthur-san is a bad mother and is rotting you. Ignore him, please. Ignore the screams from his room as well. It's nothing, they are just watching a scary movie, I promise.

That certainly is a lot of fathers... imagine the things they—never mind.

Also, I would have preferred you didn't read that manga. It would have told you much. As Alfred-san likes to put it, it would have been "So much mind rape." You don't need that much... Yeah.

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**I'm havin' fun...**


	28. From: Nina V

From cross-over-lover232

* * *

dear kiku kitty,

yes there is a lot of cussing in tv not on chirstmas shows, i like year with out a santa clause best,becuse it shows what childern can do when they know its the right thing.

i think its the good type of stern, like how ludwig does for itala, he just wants to keep him safe and so you want others to be safe as well! and a tidy is pochi kun doing by the way?

and i still think its a nice image, you aand greece being parents, i just imange all of us curled up on the porch watching the bunny in the moon pounding mochi for snacks.

and sexual tension?i think thats when some one hasnt done the sexing act enough or has done it too much right?-tilt head cutely-

love,

nina

* * *

Dear Nina-chan,

I must say, Nina-chan, you are extremely adorable. Talking to you really makes this old man's heart lift up. It's nice to have a normal conversation about Christmas shows that don't involve... a lot of things you can't talk about.

I suppose. Ludwig-san and I always have to keep Feliciano-kun in place though... Take your eyes off him for one second, and he will streak across Basch-san's home. It's very bothersome trying to get an angry, trigger happy Swiss from completely murdering Feliciano-kun.

Pochi-kun is doing good! He is currently napping next to me... so fluffy...

I guess that would be nice... We could live together and finally be in some nice peace and quiet... Although, I'm not sure it would be so quiet for you. Luckily you have school, so me and Heracles-kun can work it out... Um, just ignore that... Thinking out loud...

Hai... You know too much for you age. I worry...

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Hai: Yes**

**I'm thinking about doing some sort of OCxAPH Character... I wonder which character I should do... hrmmm...**


	29. From: Cyprus

From Rainspiral

* * *

Dear Japan-san  
Hello my name is Cyprus, i am the neighbor of both Turky and Greece. you resently sent a leter to my house by mistake adressed to my older brother Greece. I did not read beyond the fact it was adressed to him do not worry about abything that you would not want to share with a stranger that may be there. I am intrested to know why you had drawn ummmm intresting pictutes at the top of the page. I must be looking at them wrong because they can't be what I think they are.  
oh dear i have to go. Turkey and Greece are fighting in my garden. . . again.

* * *

Dear Cyprus-san,

GOMENNASAI. Baka, baka, baka! –slaps self- How could I be so foolish! –is taking it way too seriously-

Thank goodness you didn't read it... I don't think your brain could have handled all of that. And y-yes! You're imagining things. That's totally not related to my sexual fantasies in the least. I'm Japan, for goodness sake! I'm a hard working man of true values... I would never... send dirty images to anyone...

Tell me again why I bother to hide it?

Again? –sigh- I always tell Heracles-kun to be nice... But it seems that just isn't possible with him. Those two really dislike each other. It's almost like Francis-san and Arthur-san... Except, without all the sexual tension... At least I hope...

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Gomennasai: Sorry  
Baka: idiot


	30. From: Honda Miu II

From APH Bermuda

* * *

Dear Nihon-Sama,

I am doing okay i guess Aniki some people here went today Tōjinbō(which is also a notorious spot for suicide) I tried to stop them from jumping but... *sniff* I c-couldn't stop t-them. I am ashamed of myself for l-letting this happen.

*wipes tears* D-Domo - Arigato Aniki for talking to France-san. When i go back to work i will try to ignore him Aniki.*sniff* Shibuya-san, he is with me right now and tells me to say that he is doing fine at the moment.

What happening between you and heracles?*smiles* To people who can read the atmosphere, unlike Amerika-san, it is quite obvious. But I believe that it is nothing to be ashamed of Kiku-sama. At least you and Heracles-san can say that you like each other as well as Shibuya-kun and myself. If anyone is to be ashamed it should be Amerika-san and Igirisu-san. It is painfully obvious to everyone no matter how much they say no.

Writing to you Kiku-san always make me feel better so

Domo - Arigato! :3

With much gratitude,

Handa Miu

P.S. Kiku why are you not open about your otakuness like myself Aniki?

* * *

Dear Miu-chan,

Ah! P-Please don't cry! I'm sure you did your best! Please do not be sad... here! Have some salted salmon! That should make you feel better... Please do not cry?

Anything for you, imoto. If he does not cease to bother you, please tell me. My sword shall show no pity for fools like him. It is good to hear Shibuya-kun is doing good as well.

It's not that I'm ashamed of it... I mean, EVERYONE knows. I just don't really like public displays of affections... I get... shy, shall you say? But Heracles-kun says he doesn't mind, so I guess I'm not that annoying to him. I really do like him a lot, if you want an honest answer. How is your relation with Shibuya-kun going, anyways?

And yes, Alfred-san and Arthur-san should be ashamed. It gives me migraines hearing their bickering... and then hearing their, um, "screaming."

I'm glad I could help make you feel better! Don't forget to eat your salmon like I said!

As for the Otakuness... there are simply too many things that would blow people away. Sure, everyone says they know about my hentai collection... But... one glance into that, and you'd pretty much die. Plus, I'd rather not completely soil my image, much like Francis-san has.

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Imoto: Younger sister


	31. From: Canada

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Japan,

I AM DEEPLY OFFENDED! I DO EXIST! Oh who am I kidding... might as well not.

Well, I'm guessing you've guessed who it is by now, (not america) If not I'm the guy who LOOKS like america, but is way more polite and quiet and unnoticed...and... -sigh- I'll stop there.

I might as well tell you of my little dilemma that I have, since you wrote all those Doujins of England that I found under my brother's bed, I'll ask you since you seemed to remember me (on occasion.)

I like someone. He's then only one who remembers me 24/7 and he bugs me for pancakes and tells me I look cute when I blush, and thinks my family is "un-awesome" Cause they never remember me, and he makes me feel worth something, and... I'll just stop there.

Can you guess who it is? and can you tell me what to do about it?

In a romantic slum,

Matthew Williams

~I'M CANADA! CANADA!

* * *

Dear Matthew-san,

Nani? A letter? From whom?... Oh! It's, um... M-Matthew-san! Right... .

Gemennasai, Matthew-san, it's just that... you are so quiet. It's hard to see you at times. You need to speak up more...

If it makes you feel any better, I think as a person you are better than Alfred-san. You, as you mentioned, are much more polite and don't force people into things... cough...

N-Nani! Are you sure it wasn't Francis-san who made those? I might write a lot of those (and I mean alot)... but I would feel weird writing about Arthur in that manner (I might be lying)... even _if_ he and Alfred clearly belong together... They really need to just go and make children... even though I'm sure they already have.

Could you be talking about Gilbert-kun? He comes over often, and always expresses how great your pancakes are, saying they are the best in the world. He seems very fond of you, actually. I think you should just tell him, Matthew-san. Although... knowing Gilbert-kun he might laugh and tell you to stop joking around...

Hmm... this must be handled carefully. I would tell you to try and be serious... but you still seem just as shy when you're serious. Although, didn't you make Alfred-san cry once? He only ever cries when he's out of burgers or watches a scary movie... Well done, Matthew-san.

Trying to help you out,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Nani?: What?  
Gomennasai: I'm sorry


	32. From: Greece III

From Rose Fortress

* * *

Dear Kiku-kun,

Guess what? I just finished my paperwork! I fell asleep halfway through and had to be roused by my cats, but I finished it. My boss was surprised that I had completed two weeks' backlog of papers in less than a week, but pleased nonetheless. It was also a good opportunity to inform him of how my relations with you did not necessarily distract me from my work and actually helped me focus on it.

Actually, I do have an idea of it; I used to be even more promiscuous than France - remember that sex frequency poll you saw some time ago? I didn't even use condoms back then, unlike France who did use them on occasion.

...It's actually a wonder that I didn't catch any STDs or impregnate anyone, now that I think about it. (Maybe my mother's gods have been watching over me this whole time?) I had a check-up before I began going out with you, and the doctor said I was clean. I hope that's true; I'd never forgive myself if I ever infected you.

As for dealing with France's indecency, maybe we could try finding a long-term partner for him? If falling in love was what made me stop sleeping around, it might work for him too. I think he has an interest in that island girl - Seychelles, was it? - or maybe that nation with the talking bear...what was his name again?

You're right; not talking about that Turk is the best option. (Although I do now have your letter to rub in his face if he ever claims you think I'm less cute than him.)

*smiles gently* I don't find you frustrating, Kiku. You may act differently in public, but I still get to see what you're really like in private. You're actually a very interesting person, being able to get your paperwork and housework done and still have time to watch anime and dress up for those conventions you're so fond of, and I enjoy being able to see all sides of you. (Plus, you're very cute when you apologize.)

Besides, you're one of the few people who aren't bothered by me abruptly falling asleep even in the middle of conversations. You also don't seem to mind when I wander off on some topic unrelated to what we were just talking about, or that my finances are, shall we say, meager. In all honesty, sometimes I wonder why you chose _me_ over the nations who are just as hardworking, neat or good with money as you are...

I should be at your place by tomorrow morning, along with my cats who will be very happy that you thought of them, and we can put these cat toys you've prepared to good use then.

See you soon,

Heracles (Greece)

* * *

Dear Heracles-kun,

I'm happy to hear you have finished! I finished my paper work a couple of days of ago... I've just been lounging around drawing. I made a very interesting picture of Basch-san and Lily-chan! I think it's cute and can't wait to show you. I also made some other ones... but those are more private . (I think you'll like them as well...)

Hai... I remember that poll... I came in dead last...Thank you for reminding me...

Also, I find it hard to believe you could have been worse than Francis-san... Although, last time I visited your home, every statue _was_ naked (So... many privates). Not to mention all of the people having sex in the broad daylight. I don't think I've passed out so many times in one day before...

Well, you are the embodiment of a Country... Imagine if you did have a child... I wonder if they would turn into a country as well? It would be cute, watching a little you running around. And don't worry, I'm clean as well (mainly because of how I am, though .).

Hai, Seychelles-chan. I was stuck on her island quite a few times before (as weird as it sounds). She's very pleasant. Although, I don't think she enjoys having Francis-san trying to grope her every waking second of the day. A man with a bear? Never heard of him... Oh! Matthew-san! How could I forget him, he just sent me a letter! ... Who are we talking about again?

Of course you are cuter, and no one should tell you otherwise.

You don't find my dressing up odd? Some of the other countries make fun of me sometimes for that, even though a lot of their own populations seem to like doing the same thing (Halloween, right?). Thank goodness no one else knows the real, more eccentric me. My image would be ruined for life. I save the wild, violent, angry sex for you and only you (I'm going to hear about this later from the others...). This is being more open, right? It's hard... [Author: LIKE MY DICK./]

I-I'm cute? Oh... U-Um, arigatou g-gozaimasu...

To be honest, I'm not very good when it comes to making friends with other countries, since I tend to be shy at times. Although I have an abundant source of them now, I seem to enjoy your company the most. I don't mind those flaws about you at all... They are something I can learn to work around. Besides, you falling asleep on me just gives me a chance to fully admire you... –shy blush-

Well, I do love your cats... –nargle nargle-

Lovingly,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Hai: yes  
arigatou gozaimasu: Thank you**

**I love how his letters to Greece are the longest XD I LOVE IT. SO CUTE.**


	33. From: Sealand V

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Kiku,

You do realize you just told a twelve year old that your fucking someone? I've known about sex for a while now! (Isn't the internet just bloody wonderful?) plus my parents are ALFRED AND ARTHUR how do you expect me not to?

Kitties are nice, but sex just gets you all blushy and people think it's funny (that's what daddy said anyway...) You have fun with Heracle and your harem of 2D women...

I know WHY my bum would hurt, I'm just saying that I could totally top Ravis! btw MUMMY IS NOT A BAD MOTHER! It's not his fault, he can't help it! Once I came home, and the couch was broken! The frame was destroyed and there were atleast 10 broken springs popping out in multiple places... and mum could walk for a week...

Oh God! I just ruined the "adorably innocent" thing I had going on... damn it's hard always trying to be as naive as daddy...or an eight year old. sorry I blew up like that...

Now seen as only a perverted little boy,

Peter Kirkland

~SEALAND! :D

P.S. BLAME FRANCE! I talked to him once after I found out how babies were made, and he told me EVERYTHING... and I mean EVERYTHING...

* * *

Dear Peter-kun,

Yes, I realized I've told a child of my sexual activities...

-America steals laptop- DON'T HATE ME NIGGA!

-Japan steals back- N-Nani! Alfred-san, when did you get here! I could have killed you for intruding my home! You know I show no mercy for trespassers!

Please excuse me Peter-kun.

-takes a whole hour to ship America back in a box-

Gomennasai, Peter-kun. I don't know how he got in. He was reading over my shoulder... By the way, he said he was going to tell Arthur of how _not_ innocent you are. I'm sorry.

Kittens are more than nice. I would much rather talk to you about power ranger kittens any day over the things that me, Heracles-kun, and my beautiful anime women do. Children have vivid imaginations, no? Use that if you really need to know... and it isn't a fun conversation for the one who gets awkward and blushes all the time... so shameful...

Arthur isn't a bad mum? But I thought you said you disliked him... And again, you're twelve. You don't need to "top" anyone... Can we PLEASE just talk about power rangers again?

It is safe to say I will never view you in the same way again. I knew a child going through puberty was a dangerous thing... but who knew the kids these days were to addicted to everything sex related? I blame it on Alfred-san.

America: H-Hey! Not cool, dude!

And Francis-san. Can not forget about him.

France: ;D

Questioningly,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**I... honestly enjoyed writting this one a bit too much. America, I love you XD**


	34. From: Greece IV

From: Rose Fortress

* * *

Kiku-kun,

I know I just sent a letter to you, but the strangest thing just happened. A girl suddenly leapt into my room via the window, muttered something about her being your future wife, and began waving around what looked like one of Belarus' knives. My cats didn't like her very much and kept on hissing and clawing at her, whereupon she leapt back out of the window.

Do you know anything about this strange girl, Kiku? I don't think she could seriously harm me, but it was still a bit of a shock. Ah well, I won't let it stop me from seeing you tonight.

-Heracles

* * *

Dear Heracles-kun,

Yokatta!

I'm so glad to hear you are fine! I'm sorry this woman bothers you... Her name is Lucy, but I prefer calling her Demon-san. She is an extremely rabid fangirl... She kept threatening you in her past letters! I even stood up for you! She had me so worried...

I'm trying very hard to deal with her, but she keeps telling me she will steal me and have my children... Heracles-kun, she scares me... Please help, I don't know how to get rid of her! No matter what I do, she just loves me more! I'm truly frightened by this woman!

Is this a curse? Did Ivan send her! Hai, it makes sense now! That demon tyrant would do this to me...

Sincerely Frightened,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Yokatta!: Thank goodness!**

**Lol, poor Japan is being harrased.**


	35. From: Albania VI

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Heeeeey Nihonnn,

Im visitinggg Belgium's familyyy... did u knoww its legal to smoke weed in the netherlands? Yeahhhhhhh. Im withh Belgiumm, her brother Lars, Antoniooo, annd Loviii~ Haaa he has such a cute nickname Lovii~

Okk im ssooo boooreddd HaHa so imma askk you a few questionsss, K?

7.) Have you and Greece FUCKED? Don't lieeee too mehhh!

3.) Caramelldansen or...or... Hare Hare Yukai?

Im boredd. Hey loook Prussia is heree.. and he brought beerrrr. Duufvhfhvnvndn...I want Chips... I'll take a potato chip...AND EAT IT! Omnononon

Noooo prussia is trying to read over ma shoulderrr~

Heyy Prussiaa If ur readin dis I want to tell uu dat... ur the luv child of Near and Beyond Birthday from Death Note Hur Durrr two Death Note references

hurrr... Ima sleep for awhile``` K Thx Byee

The AWESOME Prussia was here!

Hello Japan~ This is Belgium! It seems my dear Albania has passed out so Im going to finish this for her. Ignore the sentence above mine, that was Prussia. Bye~

Belgium~

P.S Spain says Hi.

* * *

Dear Otaku-chan,

It saddens me to know you are intoxicated as of now... It seems as though your attention span has grown even shorter than it originally was. Oh dear.

1) I'm glad you know your numbers, first of... –sarcasm- And secondly, yes, yes I have. Several times. And I can say this now because you probably won't remember all of it by tomorrow. I'm worse than Francis when it comes down to that sort of business.

2) Caramelldansen.

...Otaku-chan, did you just make a reference to Death Note? Oh, you made several. Oh my.

I cannot deny that I enjoy reading you write like this. Although I don't suggest getting high... it's fun mocking you. I'm going to hold this letter and use it against you for future purposes.

Do you like Gilbert-kun, Otaku-chan? I know Matthew-san really likes him... this could be an issue. Ah, no wait, you like Belgium-san, I believe. Anyhow, you should help me out, I'm trying to get Gilbert-kun to get with Matthew-san... I could use some help.

And tell Gilbert-kun that... he is pretty great, actually.

Konichiwa, Belgium-san. Tell Antonio-san I say hello as well.

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon


	36. From: Torie II

From siriusly chibi

* * *

Konnichiwa futatabi Nippon!

I trust you are doing well?

I don't mean you should advertise it, especially like that (some ladies porch? Really Kiku? O_O), but you are just so... Awkward talking about it. Instead of getting nervous and stuttering, just say it as a matter of fact.

Ohh, cats! I sort of have a cat... She is a stray but she sort of adopted me. She's a really pretty tortoiseshell with bright yellow eyes and mid length fur. Very fluffy, but she has a habit of being evil. Biting, scratching, jumping onto the kitchen counter to drink out of the milk jug...

Fluffy things... I love them so much. Anything shiny, fluffy, or feathery I want.

Miku is awesome, but I love Teto. Shes just so cute~

Arigato Kiku, but the whole car is not necessary, so I cannot accept your kind offer. It is just the tires are terrible.

Why do you dislike hugs, Kiku? They make the world go round!

Where is your favorite place to just sit and think?

If you had to be locked in a small room with one nation that is not Heracles, who would you choose?

With the love of a fangirl,

~ Torie

* * *

Dear Torie-san,

Konnichiwa.

Hai, watashi wa yoku yatte iru. Omae wa?

U-Um, it was late, and he got me to drink too much... and I lost control and the porch was there, and well... Why am I explaining this to you! Anyways, I know it's a matter of fact, I just don't think it's really any other person's business as to how I treat Heracles-kun in bed. Trust me, that's all anyone ever wants to know for some reason. People should stop speaking with Francis-san so much, he's influencing everyone... And Heracles-kun isn't shy about it at all. He doesn't care if people talk about it! I'm the one who finds issue with it...

Make sure to treat your stray with lots of love! Trust me, Torie-san, they stop biting once you feed them enough milk (or... all of it).

I seem to have a weakness for cute, fluffy things. Luckily it isn't as bad Yao and his hello kitty fetish...

The tires? Nonsense! I put a lot of hard work, now please accept the new car before I send more!

I don't dislike hugs... That is just an intimate act that should be shared between couples. I remember when Feliciano-kun hugged or touched me, I demanded that he take responsibility and marry me and support me... Ludwig only sighed his head in disappointment at me. I still had a lot to learn at the time.

I like to sit at home, really, staring out at the rock gardens. It is so peaceful and quiet. When you live the life of a busy country, the moments of peace and quiet are truly irreplaceable.

I suppose it varies. I would be fine in a room with either Ludwig-san, Arthur-san, Alfred-san (only if I get to watch him cry at movies), and even Gilbert-kun. I would be fine with Feliciano-kun... but he sexually harasses me without even knowing it. Ludwig-san never seems like that either...

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Hai, watashi wa yoku yatte iru. : Yes, I am doing well.

Omae wa? :and you?


	37. From: Lucy III

From SheepAteMyFanBoys (Lucy makes me giggle)

* * *

Um, I think I might have done bad Nihon-sama,

Well you see, it wasn't really my fault. I met this really cool guy named Ivan (he wasn't as cool as you, though, Nihon-sama, no need to get jelous!) and we were talking and he challenged me to a drinking contest (as you do when you meet a total stranger in a supermarket...), and, yknow, I never back down from anything. So anyway things get a little bit fuzzy from then on and a faintly remember breaking into Greece-bakas house... yeah.

I think Greece-baka may be dead or mortally wounded. You should probably check that out. But on the bright side, if he IS dead we can finally be together with no distractions!

Anyway, I have to go. There's an eastern european woman trying to break down my door screaming something about a stolen knife. Must go and deal with that.

Your love for ever and always and ever (andeverandeverandeverandever),

Lucy (I love you. I may have even committed first degree murder for you!)

* * *

Dear Akuma-san,

I feared you would do bad things...

No wonder you are doing bad things! You are speaking with that tyrant, Ivan! He is a bad influence, do not speak with him! ANATA WA NANI O SHITA KA! Stay away from Heracles-kun's house, you demon!

I am happy to you inform that I spoke to him recently and he is perfectly fine. You were apparently so drunk all you did was stumbled around swinging a knife before exiting through his window. He was confused, but not scared in the least.

I would also like to inform you that we shall never be together, Akuma-san.

That would be Natalia-san... a scary woman with an obsession much like yours for Ivan... I will never understand how she likes him much. Much like I do not understand your love me... it is terrifying. Now I can relate to him, if only slightly...

I do not love you (and Heracles-kun loves me more),  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**I LOVE CRAZY STALKERS.**

**Anata wa nani o shita ka: What did you do!  
Akuma: Demon**


	38. From: Germany

From Nintendofan100

* * *

Dear Kiku

Me and Italy are testing out cars in the Nordschleife Nurburgring.

I ask that can you come and bring cars to test out, Italy's been begging me to invite but i keep saying your busy making your ummm... was war es wieder oh yes your prized kei cars. If you do want to come please reply back and come to the Nurburgring on February 3 and bring some cars to test out and have some "fun" as Italy would say.

From

Germany/Ludwig

P.S I invited America, England, France, and S. Korea so be wary that they might come too.

* * *

Dear Ludwig-san,

Konnichiwa, Ludwig-san, I have not heard of you in a while.

O genkidesu ka?

You are testing out cars? This sounds very promising! I've always admired your cars, Ludwig-san... But, if I might ask... Feliciano-kun is not going to be testing out any of the cars, is he? If he drives, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your offer... That would just make me go make safer cars... Please don't let him drive. Shite kudasai...

I shall bring some hybrids with me! I was hoping to spread these out more, seeing as a lot of my cities are full of fumes... It is a shame.

Also, I can handle Alfred-san and Arthur-san... I'm sure they will be busy trying out the, um, large vans... If you get what I mean... As for Im Yong Soo... I'll see how well I can deal with him.

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

O genkidesu ka?: How are you doing?  
Shite kudasai...: Please...


	39. From: Cyprus II

From Rainspiral

* * *

Japan-san

Hello it is Cyprus again. Relax my friend it did not even bother me. (Besides I thought the drawings just looked like a bunch of cats running around in a circle with a rutabaga. I found it odd and I do not think I want to know any more) Keep in mind I had to grow up with not only Greece as a kid but his mom and Rome. *shudders* and then there is Turkey, who is all most a big bro but Greece won't let me call him that.

Any way you seam to be a very interesting person and don't worry about Greece and Turkey in my yard. At this rate there is no hope I think. But then again it is all most as bad to think of them not fighting. When I picture them getting along it actually creeps me out for some reason. *shudders* Kind of like when Russia smiles at you for a long amount of time.

Any way Greece is actually being docile for the moment. Though that might be do to the fact it has been a good year for wine.

Oh dear I am blathering.

With regards and apologies for taking from your time.

Cyprus.

* * *

Dear Cyprus-san,

Cats running around in a circle, you say? Hai, we can pretend that's what it is... –shifty eyes-

Really? What was it like growing up with Rome-sama and Ancient Greece-san? I heard from Feliciano-kun that Oji-san Rome-sama was... a big pervert as well. Same for Heracles-kun's mother... I see where he was influenced from...

I am interesting? Arigatō, Cyprus-san. And yes, I do suppose it's better this way... It's actual hard for me to try and imagine them getting along. Actually, I take that back. It isn't too hard. Do you know how much hentai of those two is made by my people? It's saddens me... why can't they draw me like that? D:

Ivan does smile too much. It makes me want to wipe it off with my Katana... he is such a Kurīpu... I feel the urge to punch something now.

Do you have any more wine? I would enjoy tasting it, if Francis-san hasn't already chugged everything. I've been having too much sake lately and need a change...

You're not wasting my time,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan Nihon

* * *

Hai: Yes  
Oji-san: His grandfather  
Arigato: Thank you  
Kuripu: Creep


	40. From: Turkey

From Dashi-Kin

* * *

Dear Japan,

Me or Greece.

- Sincerely Turkey.

* * *

Dear Turkey-san,

P-Please don't make me chose! You're both great people and I sincerely enjoy both your company!

H-Hey, let's play rock, paper, scissors again! N-No? Omu... Watch as I detach my thumb again!

-does finger trick-

Did it work?

Flustered,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Omu: Um

**Idk why, but I burst out laughing when I read this letter XD**


	41. From: Canada II

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Kiku,

Yeah, I know I have to speak up more, it just seems like everyone just talks over me...

Yes, I believe they have one ... Sealand, believe it or not!

Oui, I was talking about Gil... He tells me that about my pancakes all the time, but I doubt he's tried anyone else's...

I would tell him! but... I don't want to get heart broken or anything... could you maybe put the idea in his head? Ask him what he thinks of me? If you remember me of course... Just ask him who he likes! you can remember that someone asked you to ask him that at least...

Oui Oui! -smiles- Alfred was insulting my hockey team, so I got my hockey stick and threatened to bash his brains in if he said another damn word about my hockey team! Then he started crying and didn't say a word after that! (btw, it takes alot for me to snap like that!)

Thanks for trying to help.

Matthew Williams

~Canada

* * *

Dear Matthew-san,

Pardon me, I almost did not notice your letter.

Everyone speaks over you? I just thought you didn't speak period... I must remember this.

You mean Peter-kun? Well he does refer to the as "Mum and Dad"... The love child of two bickering fools... I would say I feel bad for Peter-kun, but did you know he's actually a giant pervert as well? I was stunned to learn this!

Matthew-san, you speak French, correct? Has Francis-san raped you two? I believe we have found something we might have in common... although he's already raped everyone...

Well, Gilbert-kun is a very blunt person and doesn't lie... I'm sure he really does mean it when he says he loves your pancakes most. I promise I will ask, trust me for I am a man of my word!

...

So I invited Gilbert-kun over. I forgot who you were for a second, but that much was to be expected. Anyways, we were eating some cakes when the he started talking about your pancakes. He wouldn't stop... I asked if he had any feelings for you, but he blushed and began to stammer and trip over his words, saying I didn't have my head screwed on right...

After he stopped trying to stab my pride and move onto a different subject, I told him you liked him. Was that a bad idea? He stormed off, but his face was red...

I've heard your hockey team is quite the formidable opponent! I myself happen to like baseball... I heard Alfred-san likes it as well. The two of should play together some time!

Oh dear, I forgot I was writing to you... Gomennasai...

Sincerely,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon


	42. AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ

Hey Guys!

It's me, Patty! The All Mighty Overlord! BOW DOWN TO ME. Haha jk jk... somewhat.

Just wanted to get an Author's note out to adress a couple of things! It isn't much... but thought I'd get it out there.

First off, some countries sent letters, I sent replies, and they never again replied. I don't think that's too fair, since I'm sure others would like to write as those countries...

So yeah, the following countries are now free to be written as (unless the other previous person sends a PM):

-Latvia

-America

-Korea

So yeah, those three countries are open again. I hope to hear from them!

Another issue I want to adress...

I know there are people who don't have accounts and want to write as countries through anony. reviews. It's hard, cause then people send in two of the same Country...

I'm going to enable it again, but please leave a call sign of sorts at the bottom so I can keep track of which country is which and who is sending them. I hope to get more reviews this way! But again, please leave a call sign and PLEASE make sure someone else hasn't already taken that country. I'll take letters through PM or Reviews. I'm not a big fan of giving out my email... and to be honest, I NEVER check my email so it would pointless to send a letter there anyways XD

Well, that's about it guys! I'm really happy to see you guys are all writting to me. I had a spazz attack when Pimpin Sushi sent a letter, cause she does the Ivan's Letters to the World. If you guys haven't seen it, you should totally check it out! -foams at mouth- I hope to hear from other countries soon!

I LOVE YOU ALL, MY LOVELY LITTLE SLAVES... I mean... LOVERS... Yeah sure, that'll work.

Biiz~

-Parry the smexy purple dinosaur.


	43. From: Nina VI

From cross-over-lover232

* * *

dear kiku,

glad i can let you know here is still goodness and light in the wrold kiku! i sent along some christmas cookies a friends mother and i made to use up the green and red sprinkles, even if it is janutray they are still nummy!

i bet i could get him to not hurt feli chan, i dont think he knows how to stand up to a childs puppy dog eyes! and i think his little sister would never forgive him if he raised his gun to a child!

yeah while i'm at school you and hercules could work on all that political stuff like budgets, and news and dull stuff, then when i got home from school we could have snackies and cuddle and maybe visit the park when i'm done with my homework! so say the word and i'll pack up my hello kitty suit cases and i'll be on my way!

love, nia

* * *

Dear Nina-chan

It is a pleasure to hear from you again, Nina-chan.

The cookies are very delicious! ... Did you just say Nummy instead of Yummy?

...

K-Kawaii...

I suppose Basch-san wouldn't hurt a child... but then again, his temper is like nothing I've ever seen. Feliciano-kun is like a child (a very perverted child at that, seeing how he runs naked everywhere) but he still gets attacked.

Just for safety measure, please do not go near him. I beg of you to stay away...

Huh? Paying the bills while you are gone? U-Um sure, that's exactly what we would do –shifty eyes- ... Oh Nina-chan, enjoy your youth while you still have it... the world is a dirty, horrible place...

As much as having you stay sounds like fun, I would rather avoid a law suit from your parents. Saving money is an important matter, and I don't want to take risks. Besides, I'm sure your own parents would miss you very much! Having you stay over sounds just like that one manga I read... Kuso! Bad Otaku side, stay away!

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon


	44. From: Sealand VI

From yintsunami

* * *

Dear Kiku,

What is wrong with my Daddy? -sits in corner-

He's going to tell Mummy? OH NO! Do you by any chance have a samurai sword and an Alfred-tracker?

Yes let's regain my innocence and talk about POWER RANGERS! :D and... KITTIES! Did you know that Greece found a kitten and named it after you? it's sooo cute!

Please don't tell him that I actually LIKE HIM! It's fun just arguing and stuff. I also know that I won't have to worry about "topping" anyone for atleast another couple years...

I'm sorry that I ruined your image of me! I hope this won't change anything, like our friendship over power rangers! Is it puberty? I just read to much on the internet and can put two and two together. I'M NOT ADDICTED TO EVERYTHING SEX RELATED! I was just staying on topic... that's all!

Also France, DID tell me alot... Mummy or Daddy always got there before he tried anything though..

Scared,

Peter Kirkland

~Sealand

* * *

Dear Peter-kun

Well he ran off, giggling like an idiot while munching on his burger saying, "DUDE! Arthur is going to shit a brick when he hears this!"

Something along those lines. I do have Katana, if you would like to use that... as for tracking, just follow the trail of hamburger bits and barbecue sauce. It shouldn't be too hard to spot him, considering he likes to wear a cape sometimes of his countries' flag, screaming he is the hero.

Finally we can talk about something I am comfortable with... And yes, he told me –blush- That cat is my favorite... speaking of cats, would you like a pet cat of your own?

Hai, I won't tell him... I'm sure Alfred-san is taking care of that for me anyways. –hur hur hur-

Hai, you say you won't top anyone yet... but growing up around the kind of people you do, I give you a solid week before something drastic happens, Peter-kun.

It hasn't change completely... Ok yes it has. You scare me, Peter-kun, and I fear your sexual knowledge. (what saddens me is the fact you might know more...) At least we can still speak of power rangers... unless you decide to make the pink and red ranger have—Omu, forget that.

I think I've repeated this a lot, gomennasai for repeating... but Stay. Away. From. Francis-san.

It's just rape, everywhere.

Please trust me,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

URG. **SORRY! I'm taking too long to reply to these DX I've been soooo busy with homework lately, it's complete POOP.**

** I promise I'll catch up!**


	45. From: Spain II

From yami'sguardian

* * *

dear japan,

mi amigito! i need your help! D: i recently found some abondoned baby turtles, and i've been trying to help them, but i have too many, and romanito wont let me keep them at his place! i really need some help! do you think i can send them over to your place? por favor! BTW i've heard about that you've had some problems with some rabid dog/fangirl. want me to brush off the dust on my battle ax? i WAS a former pirate you know. i will fight to protect my friends!

yours the(ex)pirate, antonio

* * *

Dear Antonio-san,

Sea turtles? I heard about this. Weren't you two out eating at a restaurant for a _date_ when that happened? Or was it your house... my mind is foggy. Must be my old age.

I would very much enjoy helping you return those turtles to safety, my friend... But hold them at my place? I'm afraid of what the cats might do to them... plus, my people do love sea food... I think you should send them elsewhere, Antonio-san...

Weren't you and Arthur-san both pirates? Alfred-san makes fun of Arthur-san a lot for that... I think it's slightly admirable, if I'm allowed to be honest here. I was only a samurai and a ninja...

As for Akuma-san, yes, she is pestering me and refusing to leave me alone.

I get love letters from her at my front door... not to mention the drawings. I'll only say that she is better than me with her hentai... I almost cried.

TASUKETE!

I-I mean... I am a strong man! I survived years in isolation and came out fine (even though everyone thought I was weird). I can handle Akuma-san, but thank you for the offer.

Secretly Wanting Help,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

Tasukete: Help!

**Slowly catching up on replies...**


	46. From: Russia

From PimpinSushi

* * *

Dear Kiku,

It is I! Mother Russia!

How are you these days? I hope you are well, but I guess I do not have to wish you much, Tokyo is quite the attraction to some people.

I wish Moscow was as popular, da? But people do not like my colorful buildings. Do I have to make them bland and gray like England's buildings? Will that make people become friends with me?

That also reminds me, you kind of shelter yourself from the rest of the world. As do I, comerade. We are both a bit lonely, would you not agree? Let us be friends, Kiku! Become one with Mother Russia! :D

Lastly, I have a favor to ask.

I was on the internet, uhm, what is "yaoi"? Why is it so popular? Is that your way on brainwashing teenage girls with ridiculous hormonal rage? If so, Kiku, kudos, lad, kudos.

Sincerely Yours,

Ivan Braginski.

P.S. Also, a "seme" and an "uke." Defenition please? If you would be so kind.

* * *

Dear Ivan,

I will not deny anything when I say I regretted reading your letter, Ivan.

Genki desu. Or at least, I was fine until speaking to you. On a lighter note, Ikaga desu ka?

I would rather you didn't send me any wishes, Ivan, for last time you "wished" me something, I was hit with an earthquake... I _will_ curse you one day, just you wait...

Maybe if you simply tried being less threatening, then maybe people would consider even looking at you.

Gomennasai, I'm being so rude today.

-disregards his own apology-

Zettaini ariemasen. Feliciano-kun will do something useful before I ever think of joining you, baka. You won't be lonely for long, because I will end you soon!

... You are asking me what Yaoi is? Hontou? I was not expecting such a bold question from such a... bold man. If you really must know, just watch what all the other countries do. They have no respect for public laws and go ahead and have sex right on the streets! People are so indecent...

I don't brainwash them. It's not my fault my drawings are the best thing to ever happen to teenage girls. It is also not my fault they prefer watching two men have a more successful relationship than a straight couple. If they want to worship at my feet and be my army, then so be it. I know you're just secretly jealous you don't have teenage girls at your feet like that... Oh my, I sounded like rapist just there... –slaps self- Bad Nihon!

Seme is what you are, an evil tyrant who breaths flames and forces sex onto others! A uke is what poor Toris-kun is to you... unable to say no as you breathe your radioactive breath on him!

Baka,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

P.S... you are the product of nuclear fallout... I almost pity you.

* * *

Genki desu: I'm fine  
Ikaga desu ka?: How've you been?  
Gomennasai: I'm sorry  
Zettaini ariemasen: Never  
Hontou: Really?  
Baka: Idiot

**LJHBLBLNV-! Got a letter from Russiaaaaaa~3 I need to go and write to PimpinSushi now... :'D**

**Also, notice how I made Japan not use honorifics on Ivan :'D**


	47. From: Italy

From Eva N desu

* * *

Ve~! Ve~!

Ciao, Japan! Come stai?

Ve...-Sniffles- Germany has been so mean lately!

I came into his bed last night because he was making so much noise in his sleep so I thought he was having a nightmare!

He woke up the next morning and yelled at me...He was red and sweaty so I checked him for a fever and he yelled at me more! Ve...

Ah! I know! He was just having nightmares because I burnt his wurst! Even though he got more mad at me for wearing an apron...I was wearing underwear too, I swear!

Please visit soon! Ve~! Ve~! I'll even prepare pasta~!

Baci,

Feliciano~!

* * *

Dear Feliciano-kun,

Konnichiwa, Feliciano-kun, it's great to hear from you again.

...

Feliciano-kun, you remind me a lot of Alfred-san in the way you completely misread the atmosphere...

You need to take more responsibility! Now that you've done acts to Ludwig-san, you have to marry and take care of him! It's the only right thing to do, of course... Not to mention the numbers of sold units of doujinshi of you two would go up... you didn't hear that from me, of course.

...

You... burned his wurst? –jots down new yaoi idea- Anyways, Feliciano-kun, that is wrong on every possible level. And as much as you believe you were wearing underwear, I have a feeling you weren't...

Don't worry too much, ne? Ludwig-san cares about you a lot, I'm sure, and just gets frustrated with how open and brash you are at times...

I promise I will visit soon, for I would like to have an art session soon. You're architect is truly amazing!

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Nargle face! Italy is so cute!**


	48. From: Albania VII

From Wammyboysfangurl321

* * *

Dear Nihon,

Im sorry! That letter I sent you last time was a mistake! Im surprised you even answered back..Yeah I remember your responses...Pffft you had.."sexual Intercourse" with Greece... normally I would jump for joy and then ask Hungary to check her yaoi camera but I prefer making you feel uncomfortable and then seeing you stray away from the question...your just too fun to annoy Kiku!

Prussia and Canada? I love PruCan! This is actually the main reason why Im actually able to remember Canada. I've already tried pairing them up yesterday.

When me and Prussia were... "Intoxicated" (totally not high) Lovino (The only one not intoxicated) told us "Get the F*** out of here!" even though it wasn't his house but we didn't question it. Even though I was drunk Im always spreading the yaoi love.. so I hit him with a bat on the head (Instant K.O), took off his shirt, and left him on Canada's door steps. I knocked really hard then left running, It better have worked.

By the way, I see that your blackmailing me from that profound letter I sent you the day before. Do you see how Im talking intellectually? It's because when Im planning revenge I go...what you might call "yandere." I suggest not putting yourself in this position Japan... you could get hurt...or you loved one's can... :D

With hugs and kisses,

Albania A.K.A Alexandra Llyrian

* * *

Dear Otaku-chan,

I figured it was a mistake, but I couldn't help but crack a smile while reading it. Good job, Otaku-chan, you managed to get me to show some emotion.

Annoy me? You and every other person in the world. Obviously no one understands that what me and Heracles-kun do in our homes is none of your business. No matter how "incredibly fucking sexy", as Francis-san puts it, it really is... –thinks back to one night- Yeah... good times...

A-Anyways! Back to the topic! –blush-

Elizabeta still has that camera? Kuso... I was sure I had broken it last time I came over... please don't tell me there is more than one...

Canada...? Oh! Matthew-san! Right, forgive me, I just forget about him sometimes. But yes, he recently told me of his affections towards Gilbert-kun. I told him to say something... Shikashi... I don't seem to recall what he said.

You... you left Gilbert-kun sleeping at his front door? You are so mean, Otaku-chan! D:

Yandere? I see... I didn't know you could get violent with such a sweet, quiet man such as myself... I'm sure Ludwig-san wouldn't be too happy with you if you tried to kill the only useful worker in his team (no offense, Feliciano-kun). But I suppose if you try to invade my home, I will show what I can truly do with a Katana... now if only I were as good as fighting as Yao is with that Wok... –shivers-

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
Japan/Nihon

* * *

Kuso: fuck or shit  
Shikashi: but


	49. From: Republic of Nauru IV

From ghost-dark

* * *

Dear Kiku-nii,

I'm glad you like the coconuts! I could send more if you want?

But that bit, about the stick, was a little disturbing...where did THAT come from? D:(Plus, why would he blame you?)

Wait, wait. Are we talking about relationships or possible dangers? I'm a little confused now...

If you want to 'let go', that's fine. Just...just don't start acting like America, okay?

And I probably should of never insulted Lizzy in the first place. Hehehe...I had nightmares about a frying pan chasing me for a week...

Love,

Republic of Nauru

P.S. Oh! The grumpy one? Why does he keep on insulting Germany and Prussia-nii?

* * *

Dear Nauru-san

Hai, I would very much more coconuts, please.

Well... It just seems like the most likely situation. I know people say I'm shy about my relationship, but Ludwig-san is just stubborn about his. I'm sure if Feliciano-kun tried something like [i]that[/i] he wouldn't even notice until it was too late...

And he would blame me because he would probably think I needed inspiration for my next Doujinshi... which is, um –cough-, not true in the least.

Possible dangers. As in, immanent rape. I don't think you have to worry about this though, Gilbert-kun always seems to sneeze and move onto a different topic when it comes to women or anything marriage related... which I'm sure rape has nothing to do with that, but boobs still scare him, I'm sure...

Anyways, I'm pretty convinced he has growing feelings for that one guy... with the syrup... and the Canadian crack leaves... Um... Matthew-san! Hai, that's his name!

If I acted like Alfred-san, my IQ would drop to the floor. I quite like it where it is now, thank you.

Lovino-kun is just... loud and irritable. I don't know how Antonio-san keeps up with it sometimes, to be honest.

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon


	50. From: Okinawa

From Evangel Gamer

* * *

Konichiwa, Nihon! You do remember your little sister Okinawa, eh? I hope you are doing well! -bows-

But I have to ask a very important question. When you got angry over the price of eggs while Heracles-san was around, did you try and stop him from taking pictures and giving him to Turkey?

Second question: What do you think of all the American military bases on my island? I'm losing my territory to America! Help your poor little island!

Third: Can I have independence again? I miss being my own island all by myself, alone.

* * *

Dear Okinawa-chan,

Ah, hello Kohai, it is good to hear from you. Of course, I can't forget my imouto, after all.

Regrettably, I did not stop him. I was so irked by the thought of those malicious and over priced eggs that I didn't even notice the flash of the camera... I tried 'convincing' Heracles-kun to give it back... but he won't budge...

I'm sorry I cannot help, but under the treaty that Alfred-san (forced me) to sign, he is allowed to keep his bases where he pleases... It's not like I had a choice, he just slapped the paper on my face... as usual... I've tried to get them to relocate, but it doesn't seem an option. Don't worry, we are working to revise the treaty and move elsewhere!

No. No, you cannot have independence.

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon.

* * *

Kohai: usually used by a senior to speak to their juniors  
Imouto: little sister


	51. From: Lucy IV

From SheepAteMyFanBoys

* * *

Dear My One And Only True love (and you will love me back one day, I will make sure of it...),

Oh. Greece-baka is alive. Damn.

You ARE jelous of Evan. Ian. Kyle, WHOEVER THE DUDE IN THE SCARF WAS! I knew you would be, Nihon-sama, don't you worry you're sexy japanese head about, my love, I would never choose him over you (and blondie psycho bitch threatened to murder me painfully if I ever so much as looked at him again. She is such a stalker! I hate obsessive people like that.)

GREECE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR YOU, NIHON-SAMA! I can be all you need! Wont you please stay with me? (malchik gey malchik gey, heh, I love taTu but only half as much as I love you! Hey, that rhymes!) YOU AND I COULD BE SO HAPPY NIHON-SAMA! WHY CANT YOU SEE THAT? AM I NOT SHOWING IT ENOUGH? I promise to show you how much I really love you, and not hold my feelings back anymore!

I wrote you a haiku:

Love, you mean the world to me,

I am so in love

Why can you not love me back?

You know you love me, babe (no one could ever love you more than I.)

The only one for you,

Lucy (I like akuma. It's cute! What does it mean?)

xoxo

* * *

Dear Akuma,

Obviously, I am not your true love, for I saw that letter you sent to the tyrant, Ivan. I think you should go with him. He is evil, you are evil. A perfect and harmonious relationship. Onegai, forget about me...

I don't see why I should be jealous of radioactive waste. Oh really? You dislike obsessive people? I will take it you don't own a mirror.

Heracles-kun is enough for me... you bother me to the point where I am not afraid to be open about it. Which bothers me more because talking about what we do in bed (and what you will never get to experience) is completely indecent... but I will admit it is amazing.

Malchik Gay? I do not understand. Are you calling me a gay boy or woman who wants to a gay boy... Last time I checked I am not female. And trust me when I say I am simply an old batter man who is... yeah, you get the point.

Matte... do you want to be a gay boy? I don't understand the point of this, aren't you already a woman capable of getting men? –innocently confused- This is just like Moe stuff all over again...

That is not even how a proper haiku is written.

You bring disgrace to your family.

_You're a black tempest,_

_Demon seeking my demise,_

_Not loved nor cared for._

That, Akuma-san, is how it is properly done. And if that did not express my feelings, I will carefully say it like this: Please understand when I saw I do not wish for you company. Arigatou for listening.

Reluctantly,

Honda Kiku,

-Japan/Nihon

P.S. Akuma means demon in my language. I hope you are proud.

* * *

Onegai: Please  
Matte: Wait  
Arigatou: thank you

**So, as creepy as Lucy is, I really can't help but love her. Hope I'm not completely butchering Japan Dx**


	52. From Germany II

From Nintendofan100

* * *

Dear Kiku

Do not worry about Italy's driving I'm making him drive at a different area of the track from us but if you see a Ferrari coming up on you pull over -_-'. Also America said he's bringing some "muscle cars", if that's what they are called, over and England insists on bringing some large sedan he calls "powerful and beautiful" but this being England it probably can't be very good. S. Korea... I might have to pair him with my bruder if that might take care of him for you and I might invite China for extra measures. France is bringing some sort of "city cars" called Peugeot. Finally Spain is coming too with some cars called SEAT's I think. Also are you sure you want to bring hybrids to a racing track? I mean it's fine but you should also bring something fast like that old NSX you have in your garage or that new Nissan GT-R.

From

Ludwig/Germany

P.S With Italy's big mouth A LOT of others are going to come mainly from Europe and Asia and also a strange fellow who looks like America... was it Matt or something I do not know but this mean Russia is come and with Russia comes Belarus stay away from them if you can... Schliesslich von diesem alles seien Sie in den Ruinen um den Bereich... ugh

* * *

Dear Ludwig-san,

Arigatou, Ludwig-san. I do not mean to be mean... but Feliciano-kun's driving is atrocious. I constantly fear for my life.

I supposed Alfred-san is just going to haul all of his cars over. Are they going to be the trucks he is so proud off? So large and bulky... Unless I'm completely misreading what you have said. As for Arthur-san's car, I would rather not think about it...

Keeping Im Yong Soo away from me would be best. I would rather he didn't grab my chest and declare my breasts were his... Something is severely wrong with him.

As for Yao? I suppose I can live with him. As long as he doesn't bring up the brother bonds that never existed between us, I'm perfectly fine.

Oh dear... those cars... I, um... Francis-san... they are... interesting.

I suppose you are right about the hybrids... but I'm sure I could make them fast! I'm starting to choke on the air around my cities. My old lungs can't stand the air...

The Nissan GT-R? I like the new one, the R35, I released (though it shall be replaced soon!). The VR engine works so well :'D. I suppose I could bring it over... Hmm... my garage is full of cars... I wonder it was last seen...

A man who looks like Alfred-san? I don't think such a man exists... And do not mention Ivan, he is being very unpleasant lately. I am still not happy about you tried to befriend him...

Sincerely,  
Honda Kiku,  
-Japan/Nihon

* * *

**Holy poop. I am car retarded, I just realized. I had to do some research for this one. Almost laughed my ass off when I saw France's cars... they looked so funny XD Seriously, look it up!**


End file.
